| glowingmommy2be | |
 | Age: 24 Country: United States Province/region: Central USA City: Partner: Husband Raleigh Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: No Due date: 09 0 ,0000 Occupation: |
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Well, I'm finally giving in and weaning my little guy :( I tried everything you could think of (fenugreek, mothers milk, yeast, medication, etc.) to try and increase my milk to be able to exclusively bf. It worked up until now when his demands are kicking in again! He eats 4-6 oz every 3 hours and I can only get 3 oz every 2 hours if I'm lucky. I mean I've tried EVERYTHING! I had to supplement at about 2 months because I wasn't making enough then either and it gave him digestive problems so now I'm scared to death to wean him, but then I think "well, I've done it longer than alot of women I know" and "I gave it everything I could" I just feel like a machine is contantly attached to my boobs! I pump every 2 hrs at work and then again during the evenings when I get home. Now that Hunter gets the bottle (with bm) at daycare, he won't nurse at all during the day. He gets pissed if I try, he'll only nurse during the night, but now he's pretty much sleeping through the night and I never get to nurse pretty much now. So it's really taking away the whole bonding experience! I know that it's so good for him and that's why I feel like I'm failing. I have nothing against mothers who choose not to bf, but I had this great dream of being able to do it for a year and here I am almost 4 months and giving in. I just feel like I am already not able to give my son what he needs and therefore failing him :( I'm so scared too of how bad this might be on my body to wean. I'm excited about the independence again, but it makes me feel selfish to get excited. Ohhhhhh....alright, hopefully I don't start crying again soon. any advise or support is welcomed and thanks for the support already ladies.
2 Comments on Finally giving in
errol-owl - Friday, 30 Oct
Hope you are feeling better. A great big hug for you... and thanks for offering a shoulder to cry on. Why are we moms so hard on ourselves? I sincerly hope that this guilt trip we take with every thing isn't an indicator of how we are going to continue as moms - imagine 18 years and more of feeling guilty and selfish for everything! OMG, put in that context, I'd better stop now! (easier said than done...)Your son is lucky to have such a devoted mom, and has had every advantage you could give him. He will be very proud of you - just you wait! :)
Rebecca - Monday, 28 Sep
Just let it go, I know what you mean with feeling guilty about being done with it but you obviously have tried everything and his demands are above what you can supply. There is absolutely no guilt in stopping. I know you want to do what is best for your baby but being strapped to a pump 24-7 and away from your baby while doing it is not necessarily best either. Your baby needs his mommy and needs his mommy happy. Happy mommy = happy baby! You did your best and gave your baby your milk as long as you could and now you can bond with your baby in other ways. I would stop with the pumping and just nurse baby when he wants to and when he will let you and if that happens to only be at night or once a day well then so be it. You dont have to give it up all together, just give up the pumping. You will feel alot better about it once its done and the routine changes. Dont be so hard on yourself mama, you have a wonderful healthy baby isnt that what its all about?? Take care!!
| 28-9-2009 - Finally giving in |  My mood while writing this blog:like a failure |
Well, I'm finally giving in and weaning my little guy :( I tried everything you could think of (fenugreek, mothers milk, yeast, medication, etc.) to try and increase my milk to be able to exclusively bf. It worked up until now when his demands are kicking in again! He eats 4-6 oz every 3 hours and I can only get 3 oz every 2 hours if I'm lucky. I mean I've tried EVERYTHING! I had to supplement at about 2 months because I wasn't making enough then either and it gave him digestive problems so now I'm scared to death to wean him, but then I think "well, I've done it longer than alot of women I know" and "I gave it everything I could" I just feel like a machine is contantly attached to my boobs! I pump every 2 hrs at work and then again during the evenings when I get home. Now that Hunter gets the bottle (with bm) at daycare, he won't nurse at all during the day. He gets pissed if I try, he'll only nurse during the night, but now he's pretty much sleeping through the night and I never get to nurse pretty much now. So it's really taking away the whole bonding experience! I know that it's so good for him and that's why I feel like I'm failing. I have nothing against mothers who choose not to bf, but I had this great dream of being able to do it for a year and here I am almost 4 months and giving in. I just feel like I am already not able to give my son what he needs and therefore failing him :( I'm so scared too of how bad this might be on my body to wean. I'm excited about the independence again, but it makes me feel selfish to get excited. Ohhhhhh....alright, hopefully I don't start crying again soon. any advise or support is welcomed and thanks for the support already ladies.
2 Comments on Finally giving in
errol-owl - Friday, 30 Oct
Hope you are feeling better. A great big hug for you... and thanks for offering a shoulder to cry on. Why are we moms so hard on ourselves? I sincerly hope that this guilt trip we take with every thing isn't an indicator of how we are going to continue as moms - imagine 18 years and more of feeling guilty and selfish for everything! OMG, put in that context, I'd better stop now! (easier said than done...)Your son is lucky to have such a devoted mom, and has had every advantage you could give him. He will be very proud of you - just you wait! :)
Rebecca - Monday, 28 Sep
Just let it go, I know what you mean with feeling guilty about being done with it but you obviously have tried everything and his demands are above what you can supply. There is absolutely no guilt in stopping. I know you want to do what is best for your baby but being strapped to a pump 24-7 and away from your baby while doing it is not necessarily best either. Your baby needs his mommy and needs his mommy happy. Happy mommy = happy baby! You did your best and gave your baby your milk as long as you could and now you can bond with your baby in other ways. I would stop with the pumping and just nurse baby when he wants to and when he will let you and if that happens to only be at night or once a day well then so be it. You dont have to give it up all together, just give up the pumping. You will feel alot better about it once its done and the routine changes. Dont be so hard on yourself mama, you have a wonderful healthy baby isnt that what its all about?? Take care!!
