17-4-2009 - battle of wills

My mood while writing this blog: Ok

I have a strong-willed, determined child. She throws temper tantrums. I don't care what anyone else says, I know a hollar for attention when I hear it. Ada Joy is only 6 1/2 months old, but she knows what she wants and she wants it NOW. I try very hard to minimize tantrums and not make them into fights/battles, but nevertheless, I wondered when a real, no-doubt-about-it, can't-get-around-it battle would occur. It happened yesterday.

I put her down for a nap, just like we normally do, and she kept standing up in the crib. I kept going back in there to put her down. She does this everyday, but yesterday was different. Normally, I wait until she is really crying to go in because sometimes when she is playing, she'll just put herself to sleep. Well, that crying just got worse and worse to wailing and screaming and crying and weeping uncontrollably. We kept this act up for 1 hour 20 minutes. Finally, it was time for her last bottle. She drank it in her crib. She went to sleep after having it. I knew when I put her in the bed that she was not hungry because I had fed her not long before. She just didn't want to be in the bed even though she was sleepy. She was determined to outlast me. I was determined to not form any habits of me getting her out of the crib when it was time for her to sleep.

Thank God for Super Nanny because I visualized all those mothers who put their children to bed and had their children come back a thousand times until the mother relented, and those mothers were miserable. I visualized the horror of many other things she would try on me until I relented. I kept those images in mind and made my will iron.

Amazingly, I controlled my temper, and I felt good about it. After a while, that crying can get on a mother's nerves, the very ends and last ones, and can frazzle her. Of course, I had to psyche myself out to keep from losing my temper and mind, but I did. I remained calm and thought only of rational thoughts, such as "She will sleep. She is only a baby. She doesn't understand punishment. She understands consistency. Be consistent. No talking. No smiling. No playing. Pick her up to calm her and then put her back. You can do this." One battle won yesterday, and I'm talking about my temper.

My husband's younger brother was a strong-willed child, and until a parent has one of her own, I don't think she can really understand what some mothers go through. Dr. Dobson explains it best, and my own MIL described it well, too. She thought she had parenting down to a T. She was quite pompous in her parenting and thought herself a parenting expert and superior to "those bad mothers who can't control their children". Well, she thought that until Bruce was born. She got a heaping dose of reality and humility. She had fits with him from the day he was born until the day he moved out of her house. He always gave her challenges, and those challenges made her a better parent, better educator, and the woman she is today in her career. She is the headmaster of a large private school. I can see that Ada Joy is already helping me become a better person, starting with reigning in my temper and clothing myself with sense and rational instead of anger. lol.

Does anyone else have a strong-willed infant?