17-4-2009 - happy, angry, frazzled, amazed

My mood while writing this blog: Ok

How come these little ones can put us through so many different emotions daily? Give me a hard day's physical labor any day over mental stress.

Come nap time, I tensed up, fearing that she would challenge me again today. The second nap really knotted my muscles.

I have a cry baby daughter. She cries about everything--"I want to stand up. I want to sit down. Stop wiping my mouth. Don't change my diaper. Change my dirty diaper. Hold me. I want what you have. I'm tired. I'm overtired. I'm unhappy about riding in this car for so long. Grandma is on my scream list." So after hearing whining and screaming and crying all day, I'm frazzled.

She won't give me a moment's break to sit her down while I get meat out of the freezer. After a day of all crying, I'm angry now. I'm mustering everything in my body to not blow up or cry myself.

It's nonstop entertaining, watching, caring for, etc. No wonder moms with 4 young children lose it. I'm not excusing those mothers at all. It's just easy to understand how frazzled they must be if they rarely get out of the house and take time for themselves apart from children.

At the same time during the same day, Ada amazes me when she learns something new or surprises me with something that took rational thought to accomplish. I glow with pride when she attempts new challenges, such as digging in the dirt like she did today and eating oak worms and leaves and spitting out Dr. Pepper that her Paw Paw gave to her. Often, I have to snap to get her attention when she is studying an object with all her might, be it the leaves on the trees, her Pa, a lawn mower, or her toy blocks. I bask in her smile when she looks pleased, when she is excited to watch the dogs play, or when she needs my affirmative smile back. I relax when she giggles, especially when I least expect a smile or giggle. Today, she touched my nose, and I snorted and that started the giggles. From then on, it was giggle, giggle, giggle about everything. She's made me happy.

Ah, the emotions these kids put us through in a day's time!