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20-2-2009 - Counting my blessings.

My mood while writing this blog: blessed and Loved

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Ok Yesterday I was so busy at work I was given the opportunity to do an extra admission for our agency which means extra income for our family! At first I was feeling overwhelmed but took it as an opportunity to bring extra money into our family's lives. So work went well. I came home and was woking on the admission paperwork at my computer when my husband came home (yes he moved back in for those who don't know we can't afford to divorce and need to stay together to provide a better life for our kids right now and not uproot them out of school.. etc.. plus he says he really wants to work it out so we will see.) Anyway I was at the computer yesterday working and he came home from work and said" Looks like you got a package" I thought Hmmm. Maybe he got me something (out of guilt and is pretending not to know) But no it was from a friend i met on here. and I felt so excited b/c It was for our baby! It was a boppy I had wished for. I told him what it was for and he said "Are you breast feeding?" ...Almost as if he didn't want me to breastfeed or something. I told him yes of course" Then he said "Well it has other uses too than just breastfeeding" Which was a weird comment for him to make. (I should ask him what he thinks about me breastfeeding this baby, he never cared with our daughter) But anyway, I was so happy it was like a blessing from above. Almost like a sign that I will actually be able to spend quality time with my infant after I have him. I keep having these nightmares that I'm going to drop this baby and be forced to go straight back to work within two weeks or something, b/c of our circumstance. SO this gift was like a glimmer of hope for me and I felt so loved by the friend who sent it. It was exciting too. For a moment there was an unspoken "HA!-Someone cares about me and this baby" and a look in his eyes of almost jealousy or something not so positive", Which I'm honestly not too concerned with. I am probably reading more into it. But I was floating on cloud nine thinking about spending time with my baby after delivery.

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2 Comments on Counting my blessings.


greenmommy - Friday, 20 Feb
I know, she is really a precious person.

NicoleM - Friday, 20 Feb
That is really thoughtful. Its good to hear it made you soooo happy...u deserve happiness!