30-4-2009 - Week 33

My mood while writing this blog: Ok

Physical: This is my 33rd week.

Fatigued, one day I slept 12 hrs.

Heart burn, -relieved with my TUMS smoothies cocoa and cream flavored.

groin pain, braxton hicks contractions.

I have started producing colostrum.

I wake up several times a night to pee, I have to ROLL out of bed like an OompaLoompa.

I hobble/ waddle when I walk mainly d/t the groin pain, b/c I really am not that big yet I don't think.

I'm hoping the groin pain will be relieved by the antibiotics but I told the Dr. I think I may have a pelvic Fx or something b/c It's hard to walk. I was worried what if I really did and could I still deliver vaginally and she said yes but she doesn't think the pain is from a pelvic Fx she thinks it could be the UTI, She saw that I wear a maternity belt to aid ligament pain. I also told her that I'm only going to put up with this pain for 4 more weeks and then I'm having him b/c he'll be full term @ 37 weeks by then. She gave me the two thimbs up and laughed along with me. I really don't want to be induced that was horribly painful to me last time. And I don't want a c-section. Yesterday the Dr. said I still have glucose in my urine and another UTI but she's not ordering Anibiotics until she gets the cultures back.

And I think that about covers it. I'm a little swollen, stretch marks are horrendous and I will need a tummy tuck after this one. but that is so expensive and I will use my money towards my children first. That's pretty much it. Last night I took a bath and It was awesome o see him stretching and moving his thigh and feet under my belly skin. It is funy when I'm working during the day I may forget and use my belly as a desk when I'm writing and he kicks me, I forget there is literally practically only a blanket of skin seperating me and him! He is so cute and I love him already!!! He does get in my way at work me and my pt's laugh about it, I try to bend over and get things out of my bag and have trouble b/c baby belly is in the way! LOL.

Emotional: I am very moody, Things make me cry easily. I listened to Obamas Press conference yesterday and wanted to cry He was so eloquent and deep to me. I laugh easliy too and feel a little, I don't want to say high but I'm sort of airy d/t the hormones I think! Honestly it could also be from lack of sleep! I have pregnancy brain. and feel embarrassed when I notice silly mistakes I make at work d/t my pregnancy brain. I feel needy and scared. I'm scared about the pain and all of the risks of labor and delivery for me and my baby and just really want the whole thing to be over with so I can relax and take care of him. I'm so excited to bath him , rock him , dress him, feed him,burp him, and swaddle and meet his needs. I can't wait to care for my baby. I love love love that work!!!!! It is fun and it is a very short time in my life...I'm going to cry... life is so short and I will enjoy those resless nights b/c someday he will be grown and gone and I will be old. ( I think about that a lot b/c I care for elderly people all day) I'm sad that my maternity leave is going to be cut short d/t our finances. And my little one will have to go to daycare Mon- Frid. But atleast I will have weekends and one extra day off each week. I didn't even buy a breast pump this time, b/c I don't want to spend the money knowing I'll only be breast feeding for 3months. I have worked my butt offf and saved and saved for maternity leave and still saving so I can stretch it to 3 months.. My husband may be losing his job and that worries me as well. So we as mother's always worry but I think pregnancy adds a lot of extra worry and anxiety.

So if you don't want to read all of that...: Worried, anxious, sad, but, excited too.

Things going on... May 9th is my baby shower. My mom and grandmom sent me a baby shower in a big box since they live out of state. It was so fun to go through all that stuff. Grandmom made the baby a couple blankets.

We already have practically everything I think, of course I can always use more diapers, clothes and stuff. but It will be great to see my old and new friends. I think that their support is so special and important to me, especially since my family is out of state.

Next Dr's appt is May 13th.