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|19-6-2011 - Emma hates me! :(
||My mood while writing this blog:|
Hi, I've always had a really close bond with Emma but since I gave birth to Dylan she really seems to resent me. She won't play with me, wont kiss or cuddle me, pretty much won't let me anywhere near her. If I call her to me or ask her for a cuddle she'll start crying that she wants a cuddle off Daddy then she'll run to him for affection. Today I picked her up to carry her over a busy road while we were in town and she slapped my face and bit my hand because she didn't want me holding her.
I don't think it helps that through the later stages of my pregnancy my husband pretty much became her primary carer because I was so exhausted all the time. I feel like I've gone from being the centre of her universe to meaning nothing to her...like she wouldn't even notice if I died tomorrow.
I know I shouldn't take it personally and she's probably just trying to adjust to life with the new baby but I can't help it...it's really hurting my feelings. I spent all day yesterday crying over it and then couldn't sleep at all that night because I was so upset. I just miss my happy, loving toddler so much. It feels like I've lost her forever!
If anybody's gone through this or if you have any coping strategies please help, I can't go on like this much longer! TIA. x
7 Comments on Emma hates me! :(dreaelise14
- Tuesday, 21 Jun Is it possible to take her out for a special one-on-one mommy time activity? She just needs some time to adjust - Garrett has been pinching me ever since his brother came home - they just don't understand yet what it means to have a new baby. Make sure you tell her that you love her and show her that she's still important - she probably feels like she's being replaced. Good luck - stay strong - You are her mommy - she loves you more than anyone else in the world! boomerette
- Monday, 20 Jun It is a stage. Things will be different for sure. It will take her some time to warm up to everything. ONe night the baby is all talk and the reality of it doesnt actually set in especially so young until the baby is out. Just be careful if you are crying too easily and too much just be careful and be sure if it doesnt stop taht you talk to someone. I found going from 1 to 2 was the hardest....2to3 was no problem and we will see what 3-4 brings! But you are normal and so is Emma. It is a lot for a toddler to take in. They dont fullyunderstand it until the baby is actually physically in front of them. Maybe take her on a special date or buy her something "From" the baby. Even for an hour or just a small toy....it works wonders. Good Luck! This too shall pass......!!!! maybebaby4
- Monday, 20 Jun My DS2 was 13 months old when my now 1 year old DD was born.. Like you, my husband was my sons main carer towards the end of pregnancy adn then for about 8 weeks afterwards - as I'd had a c-section so STILL couldn't lift or play with him properly. I felt totally disconnected from him. Once I was able to move about properly etc and becuase I became his primary carer again once my husband returned to work, he slowly became less distant and we now have a fabulous mother-son relationship. It does get better, just hang in there. Ask your husband to take a step back from your daughter and be more hands on with your new son so you can work on rebuilding your relationship with your daughter. All is NOT lost and your daughter DOES love you x katiea
- Monday, 20 Jun oh huni!!!! of course she doesnt hate you darling!! having a new sibling can be such a huge adjustment for the little darlings she is probably just really struggling with where she fits in now etc. i would recommend seeking some advice from a child development officer of some sort as for some advice on how to help her readjust to being a big sister, helping her understand that she is still just as important and loved as she was before dylan arrived. dont blame urself and dont feel like she doesnt love you anymore, it sounds like she is just struggling to adjust which is completely normal but i would seek help in helping her find her feet again. chin up beautiful, you're a wonderful mother and you will get through this xx hayley bubs
- Sunday, 19 Jun hi hun , im sorry i cant help you with this . stop beating yourself up about it . of course she loves you ! i agree with senior baby , when Dylan is asleep do some activities like painting / baking etc . and when your hubby is home let him have dylan for an hour or so and just you and emma go to the park . my sister does this . they have Leah who is 3 and Corey who is 2 . all the best and im looking forward to reading your next blog xxx Naomi L
- Sunday, 19 Jun So sorry! Thinking of you...sorry i can't give advice..x senior baby
- Sunday, 19 Jun aww im sorry you feel like this. she loves you and just trying to adjust to him. my mom says the best thing to do is while dylan is asleep have one on one time with her and show her all your attention and show her that you still love her just as much. ive never gone thru this personally becuz my boys were born so close together i suppose and landon was just too little to realize less attention. but im pretty sure it will happen once Laine comes in a few weeks. especially Levi. he is a big mommas boy and its goin to be tough. good luck and keep us updated. :)