01-10-2010 - Birth Story

My mood while writing this blog: Reflective

Hi My Lovelies

Well, I've finally managed to get a half hour or so of peace and quiet that coincides with me feeling in a decent state of mind to reflect on my little darlings slightly dramatic entry into the world so here goes! As you all know my due date came and went with no signs of going into labour naturally so my initial birth plan of using relaxation, breathing and delivering in water had to go out of the window - at my hospital they will only consider a water birth if you dilate naturally and membranes rupture spontaneously.

I went to the maternity unit on Tues afternoon at about 3pm and had the first pessary to attempt to soften my very unripe cervix, followed by another at about 11pm, I decided to take a sleeping tablet that night to try to get a good rest for the fun and gamesthe following day. By morning I was having some mild contractions and bloody show so I was feeling pretty optimistic, I was taken to the delivery room and my cervix checked - I had started to dilate finally and the midwife managed to rupture the membranes. Wow, that took me by suprise! It didnt particularly hurt but there was gallons of the stuff - the midwife practically surfed out of the room! Once the torrent had died down I started walking around and using the birth ball to try and get things moving, that actually worked well and in no time I was getting regular contractions (accompanied by more gallons of fluid each time!) so I was pretty optimistic that would be the end of the medical interventions - WRONG!

The contractions died down and stopped by 12pm so the midwife started the IV Syntocin, quickly turning it up to the maximum dose. I managed to breathe through the contractions for the first 2 hours with Hubbs help - even though we hadnt really had chance to practice him supporting me and helping me to relax he knew what to do instinctively and became my rock. By 2pm the intensity was too much, despite being on full dose Synto I was still only 3cm and my cervix really wasnt very active so I tried gas and air - managed to get through on that for another couple of hours but by 4pm I was having to suck so hard on the gas that I really couldn't handle the way that it made me feel, the dizzy, sliding sensation was just the same as I feel before I have a seizure. At that point I'd abandoned my plan of no medical intervention so I finally yelled for the epidural!

By 4.30pm I had the epidural sited and all was well with the world again! I was comfortable but the level of the block kept dropping really quickly, this meant I had to have regular top ups on the epidural and the block pooling in my legs - tied to the bed time! Still managed to chill, let the IV do its work and have fun chatting about what was about to happen with Hubbs and the midwife, we planned that once I started pushing, if all went well Hubbs would actually deliver the baby. The atmosphere in the room was lovely at this point, very dim lights, comfortable, intimate and by 11pm I had managed to get to 10cm dilation. As planned, because I was so comfortable we waited another hour to let my contractions do the work and push her down before I actually started pushing. I can remember this hour so clearly, I was feeling so calm and relaxed, I could feel her moving down and feel my body accepting and opening for her - a truly wonderful feeling!

The clock got to midnight and I got into the best position I could manage with my dead legs to push - I managed about 3 really good pushes, I could feel the pushes move her and they felt amazing! The midwife said the wonderful words 'I can see the head, there's alot of hair' and I thought 'wow, here we go!' I gave another massive push but something felt very different, very wrong. I could hear her heartbeat on the CTG and it dropped to a frighteningly low rate and took what seemed like forever to pick back up again, at this point the midwife slipped out of the room to call the Consultant while I tried and tried to push - where the hell had that sense of power and control gone? Why wasn't it working anymore?

By 2.30am my Consultant had arrived and checked on the head and the CTG trace which was still showing a terrifying bradycardia, he told me that my baby had done a quater turn on my last good push and was now totally wedged in my pelvis, and that he needed to use forceps to turn the baby. I was rushed into theatre and draped and prepped, he used the forceps and managed to turn my baby quite easily - then he had me try to push while he pulled with the forceps, it literally felt like i was trying to push her through a brick wall at this point. The CTG machine showed another dip in her HR that didnt pick up this time and I can remember clearly thinking 'God NO, I cant lose my baby now', I yelled 'just section me, get my baby out!' At this point we found out that my epidural was very patchy so along with the usual pressure and touch I could feel pain in certain areas so the 2 minutes that the emergency section took seemed like the longest of my life. Eventually though Hubbs said in my ear 'Darling, we've got a daughter' Tears were already flowing at this point but I couldnt hear her crying, all I could say was 'why isnt she crying'. Eventaully I heard it, that wonderful first cry.

At this point I was in too much pain so I was anaesthetised and the next I knew I was waking up in my workplace, the recovery room. Hubbs was at my side, he hadnt left for a second - even during the really yucky repair and close up bit of the procedure, like I said - he truly is my rock.

I finally got to meet my daughter a few minutes later, she left the NICU as I left recovery. I have no memories of this wonderful moment but luckily Hubbs took pictures for me of that moment.

Its taken me a while to write this blog as it's taken me a while to come to terms with such a traumatic birth, but I have to say I'd go through it all again in a second for her. We've bonded amazingly well for such a rough start, my Rhian Rose really is my miracle and the light of my life, I just wish we hadn't come so close to losing her. My Dr thinks that my pelvis is congenitally narrow, even though she was only 6lb 14 there just wasnt enough room to get her through so in the future it will be a planned section if we are blessed with anymore babies, in the meantime I'm just thanking God/Goddess/Cosmos for my little miracle.

Hxxx