23-4-2008 - BABY'S DIARY - Jan Updates

My mood while writing this blog: Ok

JANUARY 2008

Finally DS's breathing and weight have stabilised enough, and we've been given the go ahead for his big heart surgery. This really is a mixed blessing, im typing through tears im so damn scared. Of course im delighted that he is stable, but i feel so trapped for him. He wont make it without the surgery, but im terrified something will go wrong. Already the NICU staff have prepared me for losing him twice, both times he picked up, but now im so scared this has given me a false sense of security. After his last surgery he got real sick, we lost weeks of progress and he had to go through so many tests. This surgery is much more serious, im scared of increased risks having seeing what happened last time. Im so scared im going to lose my boy, please keep him in your prayers, we need them so bad right now i cant even describe how scared i am

Sory for the lack of updates...although i dont actually think anyone reads them lol. Well for anyone who cares, my lil man made it through open heart surgery. The op went slightly different than planned but everything is looking just fine. I stayed with him overnight after the surgery and he was resting comfortably as i left. No sleep for 30 odd hours - im exhausted! All reports coming back good so far, hopefully he will be off the vent and TPN very shortly. Onwards and upwards from here..........