21-11-2009 - 4 months already

My mood while writing this blog: holding on

Hello ladies I pray all are doing well with their bundles. I am blessed and enjoying motherhood every moment. This time around is so different than 24 & 20 yrs ago. I am sitting back enjoying the small things my Cortlen does every moment. With the first boys I was so worried about how to react to everything the did I didnt get to appreciate it as much. Now it is amazing to watch and just sit back and laugh. I find myself taking pix of him with camera phone all the time, which is great when no camera is available.

It is so funny how our bundles effect others. I am finding that Cortlen is bringing blessings to so many people. For example my sitter is 74 and had stop doing childcare 5 yrs ago when her husband died. Well she now keeps my son, and he has made the biggest difference in her life. She lives for his visit everyday she tells her friends she has a new man in her life. Her daughter thanks me all the time, and says there is such a big difference in her mother now. She wakes up each day with a purpose now and smiles often which she had not done in 5 yrs. When I get home she cant wait to tell me the new things he does. Between her and her 10 yr old granddaugher he is the center of their household. So little to make so much of a change in people.

Even his father says that since his birth he has changed a lot about himself, beginning with going to church. He said he cut off a lot of people he use to associate with and realize he has to be around for additional yrs for our son as he grows and needs guidance.

In relations to myself a lot of my associates have backed off, which is ok. The hurtful part is some have been friends for over 30 yrs. Guess when we had kids together when younger it was one thing and is different now. Funny thing is at first it bothered me and I still called them, but now I dont bother. I am just into my child. It is very hard I must admit with working full time and trying to finish my dissertation for my PhD. I have not been giving my studies and research the attention it deserves but I am ok with it taking me a little longer to get there. \

So I have learned to sleep when he does, and thank God he is finally on a schedule of sleeping nites. I thank God for my precious gift that when he smiles at me it just opens up my heart so wide and lets me know I am not alone and can do anything I set my mind to.

I must go now but I so enjoy reading everyones post when I get a chance to get on here. I put up some pix of my boo boo and look forward to next time I get on. Blessings to everyone during this holiday season.