04-6-2009 - Mr Y - "in his own words"

My mood while writing this blog: Happy like sonofabitch

First of all, i've always wanted to use this emoticon,lol, to set my mood on my blog.

As u all know, me and Mr Y had a major tremor yesterday, but it's all sorted now. Like i said, i'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt, btw nobody believes a paper that has "Mirror' or "Sun" in it's name, anyway!

Ok, so Mr Y wrote me a few emails and i want to quote some of it for you. I think he is such a beautiful person inside and out. He sends me a text message every morning to wish me ANDJade a good day and he ALWAYS says at the end: "I love you both."

Anyway, i think i'm addicted to this site. Everytime something happens i'm like:

"WTF, i've got to let the ladies know!"

Here is a very sweet email from him a few days ago: I was going through some stuff, i felt so sad and down, and i was worrying myself sick about the court case deal with Mr X. And obviously my sweet Mr Y picked up on my feelings. He seems to GET me so well!

Dear baby.

On May 6th , a line was connected between us. I had been on the dating website for 2 weeks and eventually stumbled onto your photo . I remember it clearly . I have it now on my computer where i can look at your smiling face everyday . I was unaware of what was to become of this chat but as things progressed very rapidly i' almost instantly fell in love .

Within days we were talking about our dreams of having a family together , Jade being happy and having a father that loved her and even our future son was named. Beneath this happiness though , the mountain of present unhappiness that you were going through became stronger and stronger . You still showed a brave face , joked and laughed but as the court day drew nearer reality hit hard .

What do i see in you ?

In you honey , i see a beautiful, strong, talented woman . You are a great mother with a heart of gold and you only want the best for your daughter .

Through all the turmoil and uncertainty that u have gone through, since and before i have met you , you are still able to glow like a shining star even through the screens of our computers. I love you sweety , because God has brought us together .

If i was to let go now , then i would doubt my strength in being able to commit to someone . I understand you not wanting any help from me , but my heart and love that i have given to you and Jade is going to help you get out of this situation .

If u love and trust me , then please accept my help . All i ask back is honesty . One step at a time, we can move together to our happy future .

I am asking you from the bottom of my heart to let me come to Paarl and see you .

I love You and Jade

Your Mr Y

I think the next one is so beautiful because it's kinda like a poem, lol! I told u in a previous blog, a man will do anything if he's in love, even write a silly damn poem! I think i turned Mr Y into Hemmingway or Shakespear, lol, because i get the feeling that he was never the poem type before he met me.

DEAR BABY

THE SCREEN FLICKS ON AND I SEE YOU , SO FAR AND YET SO NEAR

YOUR NAME SITS THERE IN VIVID PINK AND I KNOW THAT YOU ARE THERE.

AT FIRST I WONDERED IF ITS WISE , TO USE MY TIME IN SEARCH ,

OF SOMETHING NO COMPUTER FEELS , WITHOUT A HUMAN TOUCH .

BUT AS I GREW TO KNOW YOU , THROUGH LINES UPON THE SCREEN

I SAW A DEPTH OF BEAUTY , SO CLEAR THOUGH NEVER SEEN .

AS WE TALKED OF LOVE AND LUST , AND KINDLED OUR DESIRE ,

I FELT MYSELF BECOME ENTRANCED AND CAUGHT WITHIN YOUR FIRE .

FOR THOUGH I HAVE NOT MET YOU , YOUR EARTHLY FORM NOT SEEN

I FEEL YOUR SOUL WITHIN THE WORDS , UPON THAT MAGIC SCREEN

Sweetheart , i hope all goes well this weekend . Please stay strong . Keep my heart close to you .

I LOVE YOU

Mr Y

It's funny, in the beginning i didn't think much of it. I didn't really reply regularly on his email and sometimes i didn't pick up my phone when i saw caller identity is international or private. But once i started taking the time to read his emails and when i realized that he is the only one in my life who texts me every morning because he cares how my day goes, well, i just started feeling like there could be something to this! And i suppose my feeling was right.

He just told me a second ago on MSN that he is taking me and Jade to Spain next year, because his whole family have their holidays there at the same time. He also asked me if i wanted to be in Switzerland with him and his family this Christmas. Have u ever gotten a feeling in your tummy, like you are nervous? That is how i feel now.

WHAT IF I FINALLY MET MY TRUE LOVE???

...and that fucking lil' voice in my head answers back: "Try not to fuck it up this time!"