04-7-2009 - how much more

My mood while writing this blog: breaking down

Okay so everybody knows about the car that I had that endend up getting repo'd, Then we bought another one it was a two door sunfire, that was totaled out back and april while we was at a dead stop in traffic at a red light when we were hit by a lady doing 55-plus, We ended up getting another car that has just been a complete headache and a pain in the side, Today is the 4th of july and we had went to the river with my father-in-law while on are way back home the "head of the car blew" we were about a mile away form the interstate and about a hour away from home we the car that we have bearly had two months broke down and wont run and too add too all this both of are kids were with us and it was hot as hell outside, And b/c the reck my hubby cant work he is under Dr orders and so am I, So its a steady battle every month to figure out how we are going to pay our bills and get by!!! Thankfully we have been getting help from his mother with our bills "GOD BLESS HER"!! I guess that this is pretty much the iceing on the cake so now we have no car!! And we just had too put a bran new air compresser on it and now this? What have I do to have to deal with all this and haveing placenta previa too it enough already and I cant handle much more, As a matter of fact I cant Handle ANY MORE!!! Its already too much too have a toddler under two and another on the way. No car and No jobs for the time being!! I think that I'm too the point where I just wanna throw my hands up and give up but I know I cant and I know that I need to be Strong!!! But Damn it hard!! How many more times am i going to be kicked back down befor I can even get it up by Life!! I try my hardest but it just doesnt seem to be good enough any more!! I'm running out of ideas and I hate to say it I'm running out of faith too! I just need a break. I just wish that life would let me for a change get like 20 feet ahead of myself and stead of pushing me down everytime I think I'm gettin somewhere!! You know the saying " take 3 steps foward to get knocked back 10" I try so hard, And this is what happens...I'm stressed to the max! And yet some how I'm still hanging on for my kids and my husband, Guess you could say "We're living on love" :) ha ha there a smile!! And if it wasnt for my hubby and my kids I would have done lost my mind!!!