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12-7-2008 - Frustrations

My mood while writing this blog: frustrated

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It's been almost 4 months since the miscarriage and me and dh are trying for another. This past month, we bought a fertility test kit, and we nailed my 2 most fertile days and...well, "took care of business". We thought for sure we hit it off this month and I get my period...4 DAYS EARLY!!

I hate being back to this part of things. It took us a year to conceive little Travis and we lost him. Am I going to have to wait another year before I conceive our next child? I lost my first child...I'm anxious to have children. I waited until I was 30...why am I going through this? It just seems unfair. Month after month of hoping that you're going to have a child on the way and "Auntie Flo" shows up and then you have to look forward to the next month of this possible disappointment. I don't know if I can take it anymore...it's just starting to get old now. I'm seeing some of the wrong people are there that are the "baby factories"...namely, my ex-husband's ex girlfriend (yeah, there's a lot of exes in there). They only date for a month, she has sex with him, and gets pregnant...just like that! She only did it to trap him, which did not work. And then she gets a hold of dh's phone number and texts to him that she hopes I have a miscarriage! I hate people like her...I just want to strangle her for having so many kids just to hold over the "baby's daddy" heads, and then with no effort, she can get pregnant again. Why is it so easy for the wrong people to have children, and the right people have to try, try, and try to finally get pregnant? I just don't understand...

I just had to vent...I so badly want a child and for my pregnancy to carry up to term...give birth to a healthy baby that's going to live a long life.

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1 Comments on Frustrations


carolinagirl4cmb - Sunday, 13 Jul
I am sorry to hear about the miscarriage. I didn't even know that happened to you. And by the way, that ex can go somewhere....what a b*tch for saying that.....excuse my language, but that's horrible for anyone to wish that. And for the Dr......you have to watch out for those mil.drs. A girl who used to work with me was seeing a mil dr. and she ended up having a miscarriage and they told her it was because of a thyroid and then another doctor told her that was not the reason. I can't remember what was said, like she needed to get it treated or she did not....but the mil dr was telling her different from what other doctors and the internet was saying. But it is always good to get that second opinion. I hope the best for you two. Keep me updated and hang in there. I will be thinking about you.