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01-10-2008 - I hate soo much right now

My mood while writing this blog: depressed and sad

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so its been about a month since I lost my lil one....and well I feel really lost...got his autopsy back and it was normal he was a normal healthy baby...I just dont understand I miss him and I miss feeling him move and feeling his warmth I just dunno what to do with myself Im going to concelling but nothing seems to help I wanna try again but Im soo scared too.....I dont wanna lose another one cause this is number 3......number 4 would just kill me....I dunno any advice? anyone else go through this because this is my 3rd I have a 55% chance of keeping a baby to me thats not very high.....I dunno what to do now and how long I should wait to try again.....any one know when its safe they made me go really slow so after 2-3 weeks I was able to make love with mark again and no stitches...so Im lucky....I guess....

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5 Comments on I hate soo much right now


moms the word - Thursday, 9 Oct
I am sure you will be dealing with this in some way for the rest of your life. The best thing to do is to just take it day by day and cry when you need to. I wish there was more I could say to comfort you. As for trying again, I would say to listen to your body. If you feel emotionally ready then maybe it will happen for you. I would leave it all in god's hands. Much love to you and your little angels. I hope it gets better for you soon.

professorpreggers - Wednesday, 1 Oct
Dear Jessica,
I'm so sorry about your loss. I can only imagine the suffering you must be enduring right now. I'm thinking of you and praying for you as you go through this grief. I do think that there is testing that needs to be done for you at this point. I know several people who lost three or four children and and later found out they and specific complications that could be addressed. All of them ended up having healthy pregnancies once they recieved the appropriate treatiment.
Take your time, let yourself be angry and grive. I'll be thinking of you.
Hannah

~Alicia~ - Wednesday, 1 Oct
Just take care of yourself. You try again when you are ready. With my first miscarriage they told me to wait 2 months then try again but that it is really up to you and your emotional well being.


2012bean(Yellow) - Wednesday, 1 Oct
Jessica, I can't imagine the pain your going through right now, I don't know how long your supposed to wait until trying again, but I'm sure after this experiance the docs will be monitering you more closely. Unfortunately there are no guarentees in life, all I know is nature trys not to give you more than you can handle and although your hurting really bad now I hope each day it gets a little easier to get on with the day to day things in life, you'll never forget your little boy, but you'll remember that for a short period how much happiness he gave you and your husband. I wish you luck for the future and speak to your doc for his advice on when you should try again, allow yourself this time to grieve. All the best and keep us updated on how you get on even if it is just to vent. xxx

surprise3 - Wednesday, 1 Oct
you're supposed to wait 3 months before trying again. I know it's hard. I had 2 miscarriages myself. Fortunately for me, mine were in the first trimester. It would be horrible to lose one as far along as you are...

Have you seen your GP? After losing 3, there are test they are suppose to do on you to make sure it's not an issue that you have.

My sil had a miscarriage at 20 weeks (a little girl) this was her 3rd miscarriage (I believe) but she also has a little girl.

They are trying again but as soon as she gets pregnant this time the dr's are going to put her on some kind of medication...