02-4-2009 - Rant

My mood while writing this blog: Pissed the F*ck Off

Yes, parenting is a blessing. True, I wouldn't trade Devon in for anything in the world. Admitedly, I knew it wasn't going to be easy. But even though I would've decided to have Devon either way, it would've been nice to know what was coming,

It would have been nice to know that after losing my size zero body for ten months, I'd be stuck looking three months pregnant for the next six weeks until I can start exercising again. It would have been nice to know that one of my tits would be ridiculously larger than the other...I'd rather have the nearly flat pair I had before!

It would have been nice to know that when my son wants to be rocked and walked around, my options would be limited to whatever wouldn't require too much standing or sitting because I'd be torn in three places and taking my nearly useless pain pills every three hours hoping that at least the placebo effect would kick in.

It would have been nice to know I'd be sitting here on my useless ass crying over silly shit I would've seen coming if my head hadn't been so far up my ass.

Oh well. Single parenting isn't actually all that hard. Being single sucks, but it's something I can deal with. And I've always known how stupid it is to really need someone. So all signs point to it being time I started worrying about my son and myself...and cutting out the sources for bull shit heartbreaks from my life. Does it matter how good someone makes you feel most of the time if the rest of the time they make you feel twice as bad? Do I really freel twice as bad or does it just seem that way because I'm sitting here about to start crying like a little b*tch?