johnsbabymama's I-am-pregnantblog

johnsbabymama
	Age: 21 Country: Untied states Province/region: Midwest City: Cincinnati Partner: John Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: Please select Occupation: admin assist
	Online: 2 hours ago. Last updated: 394 days ago. Member since: 1421 days
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15-8-2008 - So much to think about

My mood while writing this blog:
Ok

I have been feeling so emotional these past couple days. I'm 34 weeks today, meaning i have 6 weeks till my baby girl comes. I have so much to think about. My feelings are scared, happy, and sad all at the same time. I'm scared because i don't know exactly what the future holds, am i going to be a good mommy, am i going to be able to give my child everything it needs to grow and survive? I'm happy because i'm going to be giving birth to my fist child, my daughter, and that was concieved with so much love. I'm sad because my life will never be the same as it was. I no longer will be able to go get drunk, have a party at my house, and not have a care in the world. I have to be responsible for the life of my child, and always put her first. Sure i can still have good times, but they will be a lot different. I'm also scared because i hope that i can balance my realtionship with john (baby daddy) where he and i will both be happy, with taking care of my baby, work, and school soon. I just been crying a lot, cause i just don't know what the future holds for me, john, and my baby, whatever it is i hope my family that we created are happy. I'm sure being all emotional is just part of this whole pregnancy expiernce, but all these things are weighing on my mind. I don't have mom and dad to take care of me, i'm lucky if they even call to see if i'm alive! I don't have anyone to fall back on besides john, and he falls back on me too. If all that isn't enough to worry about, i find myself everyday, worrying about if my baby will be healthy and happy, like everyone elses babies are. Having a baby will be the biggest change i will ever have in my life! Nothing will ever be the same anymore, i guess that scares me. I'm not scared about labor, and actully having her, i'm scared about after that, when she comes home. I know what to do, i just don't know exactly how it will be, because i have never expiernced this before.

5 Comments on So much to think about

deshun75 - Monday, 18 Aug
You have put on screen all the things that first time mothers think about. The fact that these worries are on your mind means you are human and that you care. You know how I have felt too, worrying about life past delivery but I am sure that if this was not in my future...it would not have happened and mothers since the beginning of time have taken care of business. Listen to your heart and do what you think is best for you, your baby and your family. Every baby and experience is different so no one can really tell you how your life will and should be. I too do not have parents to lean on (mom and dad past on several years ago) so I am alone too but that does not mean you dont have support. If you need, we are all here before and can be after if you need. Sometimes all I need is a friend and I am good to go!! We are about to do the incredible...we have created life and about to bring it into the world. Nothing can top that!!!

Also, I just completed my masters while pregnant and working 40+ hours. It's not easy but it can be done, we are women and we are great! :-)

tiffany1233 - Saturday, 16 Aug
Everything you have posted in your blog is true. Having a child does change everything. For some people, like myself, it makes your life feel complete. Gives you a feeling of true purpose in this world. Never in my life has one smile made the worst of days into the best. Bringing a life into this world is like walking around with your heart outside your body. For the first time in your life you will know what true unconditional love is. To love someone so much and know that NO MATTER WHAT they love you back. Regardless of how you look or what your age is, that baby is going to love you for the fact that YOU are their mom. Becoming a parent is a very scary and joyous time. You will have so many different emotions. Happiness, frustration, confusion....which are all very normal. You mentioned your relationship, yes, there will be rough spots here and there. But having this child together, sharing a bond like that, can bring you two so much closer as well. It is by no means easy, but when you look at the life that you created, words won't even be able to describe how much it is worth it.
The first month/two months home are the hardest. You are recovering from childbirth, getting to know and understand your baby, figuring out how to all work together as a family and so on. But after that first month or so, things settle down and it will soon feel like you have been a mother forever. All you need to do to make sure you are a good mother is love and nurture your child.
if you ever need to talk to somebody, I am here.

CamilleRickea - Friday, 15 Aug
Boy can I relate to that, and I'm only 20 weeks. My husband and I are SO young...he married me at 17 after I found out I was pregnant...and we're living with my parents. On the one hand I am so thankful that I have a family who is still willing to support all of my decisions and mistakes, but it makes it really hard to have a marriage under your parent's roof. My husband is working a minimum wage job that barely gets us by and I have been doing a lot of thinking and crying too. I wonder how we're going to survive and pay the bills and still be happy. I was also a partyer and I felt the same way about never being able to just do whatever I wanted and have fun. But I know that being a mommy is going to be fun too, no matter how hard it is. I cry a lot too and my husband doesn't really understand it. I know a lot of it just the hormones...but I just wanted to say I can definitely relate to that. I think we just have to try to be strong for our babies and do whatever it takes to make a good life for us. I know we will both still be scared, but once our babies are here and we have them to focus on, things will get better I'm sure. Hang in there :o)

mamabear0608 - Friday, 15 Aug
I understand how you feel. I was really young when i had my son Noah, and the entire pregnancy thats all i thought about was how my life was going to change. And it really does change. Im not able to go party all the time, or have those moments alone with my babies father. But it is all part of growing up and realizing what comes first. I had to do it for my baby. Not saying you cant go out and have a good time, just not like you used to. I maybe go out on occasion. Matter of fact i didnt even miss these things until my son was about a year old. All I cared about was being a good mommy, no matter what it took. You will have the same instinct when that little girl gets here. Dont worry about it. As far as your family goes, I hope everything works out between you and John and having a new member in your family. I wish you all 3 the best of luck! :)

mrs mommy - Friday, 15 Aug
Don't worry. Once you hold your baby, your mother instincs kick in immediantly. You will know from that moment, you will stop at nothing to make sure she's always happy, and won't let anyone hurt her.. The fact that you're concerned about this, speaks highly of you. Lot's of women our age, could care less, and expect their parents to help with everything. About you not being able to go out... you will, you can still drink and such, when there's a sitter, LOL I don't think baby can be a designated driver... HAHA can you imagine!? But I'm sure once you offically become a Mommie, chances are, drinking and parties won't seem important to you. Its weird but once you have your baby, everything changes.. And for the better! You will be a great mother, you'll be a young mom, BUT hey! Us young mom's rock! We friggin rule! People will walk by us and be like "she's gorgeous! I can't believe she's a mom!" lol.. Cheer up. You're going to be a wonderful mom. don't let anyone tell you different! Much love & God Bless

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