06-1-2009 - My 1st Sleepless Night

My mood while writing this blog: worried

Okay I am starting to get a little worried and upset at myself at the same time.

Last night, I laid down at 9pm. (I have to wake up at 4:15am to be to work by 5 eeww). Girly started kicking but it wasnt the "oh, mommi I love you" kicks. They felt more like "dammit, I am so pissed at you for eating the grapefruit when I really wanted an orange, mother!!!!" kick.

Then when I finally fell asleep, I was awaken because I had a weird dream about me kissing a female choir director during practice (I dont nkow what the hell that is about)!!

Then I woke up again because I had to pee and before I got up, there was this weird bulge near the top of my stomach that felt like an alien trying to escape. That really freaked me out.

Then no matter how hard I tried, I couldnt get comfortable and I felt like I had restless body syndrome where I had to move or I was going to go crazy. THEN, my husband woke me up because I was snoring and laying on my back which freaks him out since I read him that article about how pregnant women should sleep (big mistake).

THEN, I cant get comfortable again which forces me to yell out "this is bullshit!!" which wakes him up. He tries to console me by holding me really tight and rubbing on my belly which is okay until I realize how rough his hands are from his years of bodybuilding so he is practically scratching me but I dare not say stop or he would never touch me again! Just as the first tear falls down my face, the freakin alarm goes off.....

The point of this story is, I am freaking out. I am only almost 5 months and I am acting like a... I dont know. Baby, panicking mother, selfish I dont know!!! This part is supposed to be easy but for some reason, I am making it bigger than what it is. My mom tells me to enjoy every day of this but some days (like last night) I cant help but to want to call her at 2:30am and ask her if I am supposed to be laughing now.

Well, this got a little long and I dont feel like proofreading. I thank God everyday for this little girl inside of me, I just wonder if you all have experience anything like this yet? I have quite a while to go but I just want to seek any advice. Well, its 10:26pm!!! Already behind. Wonder who I will be kissing tonight (haha)