| jun2103 | |
 | Age: 28 Country: US Province/region: City: Partner: Roger my DH Children: Yes, 3 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: SAHM |
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9 Comments on Our adopted son
4timesthelove - Saturday, 3 Apr
ooh my gosh your little ones are adorable and gorgeous i love it!
byrdi - Thursday, 18 Jun
i think you shoule let them meet. i was adopted and it was never a secret, it's something i've always known, from an early age. i have half siblings too but sadly on my birth mothers side, she refuses to acknowledge me and on my birth fathers side (who is wonderful and who i have contact with), my half brother refuses to acknowledge me. they live on the other side of the country and my brother was in my city for 6 weeks and couldn't even pick up the phone! but enough about me, my personal feeling is that there is nothing more important than family however extended! good luck with your decision....keep up updated!
marsluv3 - Thursday, 18 Jun
I came from a very strange family situation and although I was not adopted, I met my three half brothers when I was twelve. It was a really awkward and difficult time and I have not really had close relationships with two of them. We all agreed that the situation would have been a much easier transition if it was done when we were little.
I commend you for keeping in touch with his brother's mother and in my opinion, the earlier the better. He will grow up knowing this little boy is his brother and it will actually create the openness you are trying to achieve. He will ask questions but they will come in stages and progress as he gets older. But, it will never be weird or awkward when he spends time with his big brother because he will have grown up with him and it will be nothing but natural. Good luck!
gaelad - Thursday, 18 Jun
i think u should let them meet. they both might be a lil young but then they can grow up together and knowing each other. they will respect the differences of families and that they are siblings and can have different parents. i kinda know what u are dealing with. my ex-husband has 4 kids from 3 relationships and my on has a brother by his father that is only 10 mths younger than he is and they are being raised as siblings. they know each other and know they are brothers with different families. incidentally, their father isnt really in any of their lives and all his exes are re-married now. they wont understand now but they will when they are older and i think they'll appreciate both of u for letting them know each other and grow up together or at least knowing each other as brothers.
Lorelaismom (Amanda) - Thursday, 18 Jun
i don't think it's important for Brentlee to know that his half brother is his hlaf brother at this age. i think for someone his age this new boy is just going to be a playmate and nothing morr and that's ok. and especially if you're going to be open with him about everything then you might as well let them get together now. don't let it stress you out. they are just two little boys playing. he probably won't be able to start understanding who his brother truly is until a few years down the road.
normalee - Thursday, 18 Jun
i would go ahead and let them get to know each other evn though they are young and dont understand compeltly understand. then when they get older they will remember that they have know about each outher for ever.good luck and let us know how is goes. :)
excitedmisty (misty) - Thursday, 18 Jun
When I worked in adoption and foster care, I know that they tried to get siblings to meet consistently even if it's just for playmate purposes so that when they are older they aren't bombarded by a new person, and a new family, etc...and since he's biracial, it might help him understand better when his new brother comes along what it means to have a brother, and that even though they might look different that they are still brothers and have each other...
however, i think it's a very personal choice to make...you're pregnant, it's a lot of stress to go through, and waiting until Christmas or New Years's isn't going to make or break the situation...they are still young enough that whether he is 19 months or 2 they will just be happy to play!
Sorry, I know that was of no help...but Good luck! It's a hard choice to make!!!! As a mother, you have to do what is best for your family! Keep us posted!
jaydenty - Thursday, 18 Jun
I think you should just go ahead and let them meet. I think that Brentlee is too young to understand the whole brother thing right now and he will probably just think of him as a playmate, and that is why it probably doesn't matter. But let them meet each other and get to know each other now, just incase you regret not doing it later. Because his half brother wont be living with him, it will be completely different to his new brother that is on the way and going to take the attention away that he's used to getting. There'll be no jealousy between the brothers at all, so in my opinion, I would let them meet.
mrs. myers (Jessie) - Thursday, 18 Jun
I think it's great that the other mother is willing to get together, but I think that with you being pregnant, maybe you guys should hold off for a little while. It's going to be hard enough for him to adjust to the new baby, let alone a new baby and a new brother at the same time. I think they should definitely meet and know each other, but maybe now isn't the perfect moment. I'd give Brentlee some time to get used to the new baby, and then introduce the brother. Plus when he's a little older, he might be able to understand a little better what's going on. At such a young age, he would probably just see his brother as a new playmate and not grasp the concept of the adoption and such.
| 17-6-2009 - Our adopted son |  My mood while writing this blog:Dunno |
Hey all. I once again need advice... lol. I run to you all when I need it because I trust your motherly instincts!!!
OK... A couple days ago I was contacted via myspace by my ( ok follow me here) adopted sons, half brothers adopted mother. I know its confusing. Basically my son has a half brother that was adopted by another family. Anyways they are only 11 months apart. Well I always knew when they got bigger that I wanted them to meet because they are the only blood that each other has. I would never keep them away from each other.
So here is the deal. Her son is now 2 1/2 and Brentlee is 19 months old. Well she says that she wants to get them together soon and let them meet. She says that her son knows that he has a brother, but has never seen pix of him. So I added her as a friend so that she can see pix of him and so she can show her son. Well I also gave her his website which we update ofter with new pix of Brentlee also so that she can show him.(www.babyhomepages.net/brentleetownsend) Anyways, I want to get them together, I really do. But do you all think its too soon, or do you think it matters. The adoption is not something that we will keep from our son, not only because I would not do that, but because its kinda hard for us to. He is bi racial, so he will notice that he is a different color. Anyways, should we let them meet yet? Should we tell Brentlee about his brother? And I am scared that it will confuse him because hes so young. And the fact that he has another brother on the way. And I think about his brother, and how bad he wants to meet Brentlee, and I dont want him to suffer just because I think Brentlee is too young. Am I just over reacting and just let it happen? I just dont know what to do...
Thanks in advance you all! You are all amazing!!!
9 Comments on Our adopted son
4timesthelove - Saturday, 3 Apr
ooh my gosh your little ones are adorable and gorgeous i love it!
byrdi - Thursday, 18 Jun
i think you shoule let them meet. i was adopted and it was never a secret, it's something i've always known, from an early age. i have half siblings too but sadly on my birth mothers side, she refuses to acknowledge me and on my birth fathers side (who is wonderful and who i have contact with), my half brother refuses to acknowledge me. they live on the other side of the country and my brother was in my city for 6 weeks and couldn't even pick up the phone! but enough about me, my personal feeling is that there is nothing more important than family however extended! good luck with your decision....keep up updated!
marsluv3 - Thursday, 18 Jun
I came from a very strange family situation and although I was not adopted, I met my three half brothers when I was twelve. It was a really awkward and difficult time and I have not really had close relationships with two of them. We all agreed that the situation would have been a much easier transition if it was done when we were little.
I commend you for keeping in touch with his brother's mother and in my opinion, the earlier the better. He will grow up knowing this little boy is his brother and it will actually create the openness you are trying to achieve. He will ask questions but they will come in stages and progress as he gets older. But, it will never be weird or awkward when he spends time with his big brother because he will have grown up with him and it will be nothing but natural. Good luck!
gaelad - Thursday, 18 Jun
i think u should let them meet. they both might be a lil young but then they can grow up together and knowing each other. they will respect the differences of families and that they are siblings and can have different parents. i kinda know what u are dealing with. my ex-husband has 4 kids from 3 relationships and my on has a brother by his father that is only 10 mths younger than he is and they are being raised as siblings. they know each other and know they are brothers with different families. incidentally, their father isnt really in any of their lives and all his exes are re-married now. they wont understand now but they will when they are older and i think they'll appreciate both of u for letting them know each other and grow up together or at least knowing each other as brothers.
Lorelaismom (Amanda) - Thursday, 18 Jun
i don't think it's important for Brentlee to know that his half brother is his hlaf brother at this age. i think for someone his age this new boy is just going to be a playmate and nothing morr and that's ok. and especially if you're going to be open with him about everything then you might as well let them get together now. don't let it stress you out. they are just two little boys playing. he probably won't be able to start understanding who his brother truly is until a few years down the road.
normalee - Thursday, 18 Jun
i would go ahead and let them get to know each other evn though they are young and dont understand compeltly understand. then when they get older they will remember that they have know about each outher for ever.good luck and let us know how is goes. :)
excitedmisty (misty) - Thursday, 18 Jun
When I worked in adoption and foster care, I know that they tried to get siblings to meet consistently even if it's just for playmate purposes so that when they are older they aren't bombarded by a new person, and a new family, etc...and since he's biracial, it might help him understand better when his new brother comes along what it means to have a brother, and that even though they might look different that they are still brothers and have each other...
however, i think it's a very personal choice to make...you're pregnant, it's a lot of stress to go through, and waiting until Christmas or New Years's isn't going to make or break the situation...they are still young enough that whether he is 19 months or 2 they will just be happy to play!
Sorry, I know that was of no help...but Good luck! It's a hard choice to make!!!! As a mother, you have to do what is best for your family! Keep us posted!
jaydenty - Thursday, 18 Jun
I think you should just go ahead and let them meet. I think that Brentlee is too young to understand the whole brother thing right now and he will probably just think of him as a playmate, and that is why it probably doesn't matter. But let them meet each other and get to know each other now, just incase you regret not doing it later. Because his half brother wont be living with him, it will be completely different to his new brother that is on the way and going to take the attention away that he's used to getting. There'll be no jealousy between the brothers at all, so in my opinion, I would let them meet.
mrs. myers (Jessie) - Thursday, 18 Jun
I think it's great that the other mother is willing to get together, but I think that with you being pregnant, maybe you guys should hold off for a little while. It's going to be hard enough for him to adjust to the new baby, let alone a new baby and a new brother at the same time. I think they should definitely meet and know each other, but maybe now isn't the perfect moment. I'd give Brentlee some time to get used to the new baby, and then introduce the brother. Plus when he's a little older, he might be able to understand a little better what's going on. At such a young age, he would probably just see his brother as a new playmate and not grasp the concept of the adoption and such.
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03-9-2011 - 24 weeks! Belly pic!!!
03-8-2011 - Anatomy Scan: Shock...
09-7-2011 - Its A ... :)
03-6-2011 - Madame Zaritska AGAIN! HA HA!
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14-6-2009 - I need advice....
10-6-2009 - 17 1/2 Week Checkup
08-6-2009 - This is so funny!
15-5-2009 - Ready to PUKE!!!
13-5-2009 - It's A ....
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09-4-2009 - Prometerium!
08-4-2009 - Sneezing!
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