16-4-2009 - mean reds

My mood while writing this blog: tired and frustrated

Well, if anyone has seen "Breakfast at Tiffany's", you know what mean reds are. For those of you who don't, it's simply a much more intense version of feeling blue. I'm usually pretty good at cheering myself up - and on - but the last couple of days have been just wearing me out. It's a waiting game, basically, and everyone's forced to play. Baby Mia hasn't dropped - wouldn't be a big deal, since it's my second pregnancy and second babies often don't drop until labor stars - but at the beginning of week 38 her weight was estimated at 9lbs 2oz. That means that she might be simply too big to drop into the birth canal. Even if I go into labor now, she's likely not to drop - and then it's a C-section. Of course, the best would be to induce labor now so that I'm still able to push her out before she gets much bigger. But they can't induce because there have been no changes to my cervix -I'm not dilated at all, and so induction would be pointless. The only thing we CAN do, then, is to play the waiting game. I might dilate and they might be able to induce. Then there's a chance that she'll drop during the labor. Great. I might not dilate, though, and that means a C-section - of which I am absolutely horrified. We've been doing everything to get my cervix to dilate - evening primrose oil, pineapples, sex once-twice a day, and to encourage the baby to drop I walk for 2-3 miles a day. So far nothing. Haven't lost my MP (although I'm not obsessing about it since with my first pregnancy I did not lose it until my water broke), haven't had any contractions. It's so exhausting and depressing to not be able to do anything, I feel like an animal about to be butchered on a C-section table. I've had such a great, healthy pregnancy, and this is the last thing I expected.