kathy=^.^='s I-am-pregnantblog

kathy=^.^=
kathy=^.^= has 217 days to go and is now in week 9
	Age: 24 Country: US Province/region: Indiana City: clarksville Partner: KOA (My Hubby) Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: Yes Due date: 22 Oct ,2010 Occupation: Mommy & Wife
	Online: 6 hours ago. Last updated: 15 days ago. Member since: 753 days
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19-3-2009 - ***CONFUSED***

My mood while writing this blog:
Ok

OH MY I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START! I FEEL LIKE MY MIND IS IN THIS CONSTANT BATTLE WITH ITSELF! SOMEDAYS I JUST WITH I COULD JUST TURN MY BRAIN OFF! THERES NO ONE THAT I CAN EVEN REALLY TALK TO ABOUT THIS. NOT EVEN MOST OF THE WOMEN ON HERE... SO IF UR READING THIS SORRY IF I SOUND A LITTLE BIT CRAZY! BUT I NEEDED SOMEWHERE I CAN VENT HOW I FEEL WITHOUT HUBBY REALLY KNOWING!

SO HUBBY HAS BEEN WANTING TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY SINCE WE FOUND OUT WE WERE HAVING A BOY LAST YEAR! WELL NOAH IS 6 MONTHS RIGHT NOW AND I KNOW HE WANTS NOTHER ONE. SO OKAY WELL THATS NOT THE BAD PART. I WANT ONE TOO AND THEN AGAIN I DONT! I MEAN I WANT MORE KIDS I LOVE THEM. SO I KEEP TELLING HUBBY NO NOT RIGHT NOW BUT SECERETLY I REALLY DO!!!! OOOOH I HATE HOW MY MIND WORKS! I HAVE EVERONE ELSE TELLING ME JUST TO WAIT AWHILE AND I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT CONCIDERING THAT I DONT EVEN HAVE INSURANCE RIGHT NOW, I ONLY HAVE A 3 BR HOUSE WITH NOWHERE TO EVEN PUT ANOTHER BABY RIGHT NOW. ITS ME HUBBY MY 7 YR OLD AND MY 6 MONTH OLD RIGHT NOW. ITS NOT LIKE THEY CAN SHARE A ROOM U KNOW ANYWAYS!

SO HERES THE REALLY BAD PART..... I BOUGHT AN OPK AND STARTED IT YESTERDAY! WELL IM OBSESSING ABOUT BEING PREGNANT AGAIN, & LOOKING UP WEBSITES ABOUT GETTING PREGNANT AND WHEN IM "O"ing. SO I GOT A NEG. RESULT YESTERDAY AND WELL I GOT A POS. TODAY! I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT DOIN THE DEED ALL DAY BUT NOW HERE I AM 10:06PM AND FEELING LIKE IM SOME SORT OF CRAZY PERSON! I JUST WISH I KNEW HOW TO EITHER JUST DO IT OR TO STOP OBSESSING OVER IT! I NEED ADVICE BUT WHO CAN I REALLY TALK TO I KNOW WHAT THERE GONNA SAY! "YOU DONT WANT TO DO THAT RIGHT NOW! YOU JUST HAD ONE" OR "JUST WAIT!" AAARRRGGGG....................ADVICE FROM SOMEONE LIKE ME WOULD BE BEST! I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!?

3 Comments on ***CONFUSED***

boystruckx2 - Friday, 20 Mar
Let me feel you in a little bit on my story. I have felt the same way since I have had Sean. I have wanted to be pregnant again, even though I am absolutely miserable when Im pregnant LOL. Now theoretically I know we should wait...but my mind and heart are saying two different things. I can't use birth control so the only barrier we have is a condom....which we *try* and use. So you could say that we are definitely playing with fire ya know. Well everyone month I find myself almost giddy waiting for my AF. Cause it could be it........I wish I had an answer for you...but Im still searching for one myself.

402nikkib - Thursday, 19 Mar
Ultimately it is up to you...somtimes you have to listen to your heart and NOT to your head...thats where the battle lies. Its a hard decision, but you bought OPK's so it sounds like your heart really wants another but your mind kicks in the reality of your situation. I have two boys, 8 & 4...and now IM preg with # 3. I really want it as well as my heart, but I dont have much space but I will deal with that before the 9mos are over...Im 30 and if I want another then thank god he blessed me with it now. best luck on your decision. nic

ashleyplus2 - Thursday, 19 Mar
I totally hear you.. I'm at a crossroads as well. Everyone says to wait a few years for another baby, but I want my kids to be close in age.. and I just have that "urge" to have another one now and then. I'm ovulating too.. lol. Hubby wants another one soon, and I can't decide. We've stopped being "safe" and I guess things will go how they are meant to go. I remember you from when we were both preggers.. I think we even had the same due date! If you want another one, don't listen to anyone else. Things always work themselves out. :)

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