20-12-2008 - Trouble

My mood while writing this blog: Angry, Upset

Ive had to get the CSA involved for money off Jakes dad cuz i am really at my wits end with him! The CSA rang me the other day to let me know they got in contact with Chris and he told them i told him Jakes not his... but then he contradicted himself by sayin he doesnt believe hes his and then turned round and said he'd pay for him if i let him see him!! (which is a load of bollocks cuz ive not once stopped him!)

Chris then turned up on my doorstep about an hour later and i wouldnt let him in cuz hes bein such an ass! But when i asked him what he wanted he said "im here to sort out money arrangements".. he sounded calm and willing to talk so i opened the door... only to find him pushin his way past me, snatching my phone out my hand (so i couldnt ring the police) and lockin my door.... obviously the first thing i thought about was Jake in his pram!!! I ran to him so chris couldnt get to him and he demanded i sit down and listen to him!!! I started to get worried cuz i know what hes capable of (hes been violent in the past).

He then filled a glass with water and put about 7 tablets in it and said if i dont answer his questions hes guna kill himself with it! If im honest... part of me wishes he did cuz i was that scared but i answered his questions to keep him sweet! Then he forced me to ring his gf and tell her that everythin i told her was lies - which it wasnt!!! After a while i stood up to him and told him hes not guna get away with comin round and threatenin me like this and he grabbed my throat and pushed me down onto the sofa! I completely shit myself i was so scared!! He then said "im guna kill myself and take u and jake down with me" Thats when i really started to panic!!!! Im so scared of him now and what hes capable of doing!!!

After he finally left i rang the police.. i went to the station to give my statement that night and the next day they arrested him... But then i had a phone call off them sayin they had to let him go cuz its his word against mine!!! The shittest thing about it is chris rang the police ON ME sayin JAKE IS NOT SAFE WITH ME!! and that it was ME that tried to kill myself!!! I hate him so much hes doin his best to ruin my life! Im now 90miles away stayin with my family... I have to wait until after christmas to sort out an injunction on him... Im also guna see a solicitor about stoppin him havin access to Jake cuz i can honestly say i dont think i'll EVER trust him around Jake! EVER!!!!

Im completely disgusted that the police didnt look into it any further!! Especially considerin it was all in front of my son!!!!!!!!