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09-4-2008 - thoughts(1:01am)

My mood while writing this blog: down

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i'm so upset ryt nw...i tlked 2 mi bf earlier at 5:08pm to be exact and he was in class n he told me would call bac......i knew his dumb ass wasn't gonna call bac....i think he was lyin...i think he was wit a female.....oh no he wasn't....he wouldnt have answered da fne......he's about 2 piss me off....i jus called and his fne is off and i'm starting 2 worry his fne is never off...the onli tym his fne has ever been off was when he got aressted that tym...i didnt tlk 2 him till the next nyt....i'm worried.....he never cuts his fne off caz he knws i worry....where the hell could he be.....im can't sleep w/o knwing he's ok.....i luv mi baby and i couldn't image living mi life w/o him...dats y i takk all his shyt...he's the onli 1 i could imagine being wit.....he txted me 2day out of the blue and asked me wen was i gonna go 2 the doc. i told him idk soon.....and now his fne is off......im reali upset the second tym i called and the fne was off i started 2 cry......im jus a lil stressed out ryt now because wen sumthin goes ryt sumthin else goes wrong.....im reali prayin that i make it through this pregnancy and have a helthy baby in the end......i hope that mi bf steps up and start acting lyk a man and not a lost boi.......i realli want a boy...but i dnt want him 2 b nen lyk his daddy.....i hope daddy 2 b steps up real soon...me and him r gonna have a date and i'm reali gonna set him down and tlk 2 him caz i dnt think reality has set 4 him......shit its just now reali set on me......i'm lyk wow i'm gonna b a mommy...lol....thats the bright side i get out of all this.. when mi bf is a complete ass i sit bac and i think about mi child and say stressin aint even worth it....i refuse 2 risk this pregnancy by stressing......i love mi baby already......hopefully ita a boy.....i have decided 2 name my baby boy......Aaeidein Seven Green....... and baby gurl...Aaedin Sevan Green...same name different spelling....i luv it....damn i've calmed down now.....i should do this more offten......lol.....

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Comments on thoughts(1:01am)