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01-6-2009 - Horrible Weekend

My mood while writing this blog: Sad

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Ok, so after 35 years of marriage my dad left my mom for another woman... This woman has been on and off again with my father for the last 10 years and dad left on mother's day weekend much to the suprise of ALL of us. They have 4 kids together and we were shocked. I know cheating is wrong and I have expressed that to my dad. I can say that those 35 years were not always happy and I don't really have wonderful memories of my parents growing up. Well my dad picks up RJ 2 days a week from daycare and we go get him from my dad at his new apartment. So the first week we go to get him he ask if his girlfriend could be there. I cried because I didn't know what to do but curiosity got the best of me and I said ok but again told him I was upset he cheated on mom. So we go get RJ and meet his gf... Yes she is bad because she broke up a marriage, but really she has given my dad this sparkle in his eyes I can never really recall seeing in my 27 years of life. So my husband and I loving my mom decided don't ask don't tell, if mom doesn't ask if we have met we won't tell... Well my sister calls and ask permission to meet her. Hello your an adult and don't need a permission slip from mom to visit dad... Well mom ask me Thursday on the way home from work if I have met her, and not lying say yes... Well she kinda jokes a little then says that my son will need to be disinfected before he is allowed to her house again (keep in mind he is just a few weeks shy of 10 months). So I think she is still joking but when we pick up my son I go to let him give her a kiss and she almost backs into the passenger seat and says with an evil eye and mean voice "I wasn't kidding". If you want to be mad at me for something that is ok, but DON'T you dare bring my child who has no choice into it.... She then talks to my sister (who happens to be the last child she talks to) after telling her 2 sons and myself we are no longer welcome at her house for lying to her (hello woman I told you the truth when you asked!) and so no wanting my mom mad at her she lies to mom and tells her no they haven't met. She is the one who opened the can of worms and I kinda feel like she is sitting back laughing at the fact my mom now hates 3 of her 4 kids! UGH it is horrible!!! Ladies I just want to crawl under a rock and die. I can't choose mom or dad as I love them the same nor can I help the fact my dad left her nor for another woman. My poor brother was told by his wife it is me or your dad and he choose her and my other brother only met her in passing..... UGH it is a mess. Your parents splitting no matter what your age SUCKS!!!!

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2 Comments on Horrible Weekend


reila - Monday, 1 Jun
So sorry what you are going through *hugs* I've never had it happen to me, but my second cousins who were in their 30's or 40's at the time had the same thing happen to their parents. Their dad left their mom for another woman. In a way I still think he's the reason why she stopped fighting cancer and passed away from all the stress he caused her. And in a way he still loved her and cared about her because he ended up coming to her funeral. I could be wrong but in a way its almost worse on you now then if you were younger since they have been together for so long.

My advice is to give your mom some space for a while. In a way I can see why she would be angry. I'm not saying you were wrong because you would see the other woman eventually anyways because you love your dad. But just remember the pain is still fresh. She's absolutely humilated what your dad just pulled on her. She's not over the shock. So give her some time to grieve a bit. Then ask her if there's anything you can do for her. And be upfront that you love her and your dad. Tell her you think what he did is wrong, but you can't just avoid your dad.


kym22 - Monday, 1 Jun
Hon- I am so sorry to hear this. My folks spilt when I was 15. Same thing- Dad cheating on Mom. I can't believe your Mommy is acting that way. Its so sad.