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12-4-2008 - april 11th

My mood while writing this blog: depressed

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well things just seem to be getting worse for me :(
i wonder why we decided to have another baby. i am super depressed here. am i asking too much to have just a normal everthing for this pregnancy?
i have no weird complications like diabetes or high blood pressure everything is perfect. except he is measuring really big.
the ultrasound showed that he is estimated at 8 lbs & 15 oz. with 17 days of growing to go....
i had my doctors appt right after and my cervix is still really high, nothing has started yet. and i guess with your second baby that can take longer than with the 1st. i am ok with that. sort of.
but then my doctor (who i really do not like) was saying that i had to have a c-section because the baby is too big and that the baby may have shoulder dystocia (which only happen in 1% of births)!
now, i know she is only saying this because there was one lady that sued them because the baby had that problem and now has a paralyzed arm.
i cried. i really do not want a c-section unless it's really necessary. am i crazy?? my mom has had 5 kids, vaginally. and i was the smallest at 7 lbs LOL. her biggest was 11 lbs.
i have been crying since 4:30 yesterday. i did not sleep and nat has not been very comforting. he has just been on his computer either playing that damn WoW or working. I yelled at him around 12:30 this morning....why do boys have to be so dumb. it would have been nice if he offered to sit with me or watch a movie...anyting to take my mind off of this.
my mom thinks my doctor is crazy and she wants me to call my old doctor, which i have to wait until monday. but she is nashua...13 miles away..and I would have to deliver there if she can take me on.
i'd much rather have her do a c-section if i HAD to have one. call me crazy. i had no problems with brenna. and she was 7 lbs 15 oz. only one pound less than the baby is now....my doctor makes me feel so stupid and fat and like it's a hassle for her to deal with me. and i do not say much to her since she is the devil.

i know that either way he will be here soon, but 17 days feels like a lifetime away with all this stress right now.

i did get new ultrasound pics, but 3 out of the 6 are of his wee wee. and the others are just not good and i do not even know what they are pics of. LOL.

well, i think that's it for me.

i would really love a box of donuts right now and a gallon of milk. he's already huge. so i see no problem with this request.

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