Members

As a member you'll be able to receive and send messages, keep your own photobook, agenda, ask questions, participate in the chat, and make new friends. All is free and you don't need email.
Sign up (free & anonymous)

Name: Password:

---

Activity
• Now online | Member search | New members | Comment Spy
• New blogs & Questions | Recently updated profiles
• New photos: Pregnancy | Babies | Bellies | Ultrasound | Member pages
• Latest comments: Forums | Week by week | Baby development

Write a new blog

---

12-5-2009 - First 4 months with treatment

My mood while writing this blog: Ok

---

Monday January 5, 2009

If you think the 2 week wait is hard, welcome to my world. Today I got the date: April 1st. That is the day that I have my first appointment with my new fertility clinic. 11 whole weeks away. That's just days before my 6 month wedding anniversary and almost 11 months to the day since I say my last fertility "expert". It feels so long to wait. Although if the result is pregnancy then every day spent waiting will be worth it!

These 11 weeks will also give me a chance to get healthier before I walk into the doctor's office. Being told this before, and since I'm both hot AND smart (LOL) I know that my chances of having a baby greatly increases with the healthier I am. So that will be my focus for the next while. What investment is more worthwhile then one in myself? I know I will never be slim but as long as I am healthy then that is enough for me.

Pre-wedding I lost a bunch of weight without even trying. Since then it's all come back plus 3lbs. My wedding was only 12 weeks ago. I thought I was doing great. Yet of course I was stressed and not sleeping and not eating right...but I was also out walking around and shopping and getting exercise daily. I was happy(ier) with my body and I thought there was no way the weight would come back. It's similar to when I was 23. At that time, sadly I was unhealthy in mind, but at least I managed to be healthy in body. I worked out regularly and danced my cares away. Quickly I lost a 30lbs. I had fun shopping for new clothes and enjoyed my new body and the interest it attracted. It's embarrassing to admit that today I sit here almost 40lbs heavier than when I started loosing weight at 23 and I thought then that I was at my heaviest! Sadly this time it's not going away as easy as it did before.

Only some of that can be blamed on my 300 + lbs ex boyfriend and his habits. Only some of that can be blamed on my past addiction(s). Most of the reason lies right at my feet. Oh, and at my mouth. LOL. Denial took all of those reasons into me and spread them out amongst my belly and legs and breasts. I know that decision and choice won't erase those past sins. I guess I just have to want to be healthy more than I want to be comforted. I know also, that this battle, this addiction will never end. If I am a bit more realistic with myself and achieve being healthier than perhaps this battle will become bearable. Thanks for fighting with me.

Tuesday January 6, 2009

So you know that stuff I said above about having an 11 week wait? Yeah well I guess you can forget about that. It seems 11 weeks has turned into...24 hours!

Tomorrow at noon I have my first appointment. Someone called in and canceled (got pregnant?) and I was offered the space. I don't know why I was picked over so many others. The nurse said she tried a few others but there was no answer when she called. So she decided to call me because she thought I would be in. And luckily I was!

I am nervous but happy. I'll update you again tomorrow. <3

Wednesday January 7, 2009

What a breath of fresh air today was! I feel so much better today. I got to the clinic about 11:50, Hubby in tow. We sat down, filled out another short form, flashed our health cards and then...waited. John had to leave at 12:30...I knew he probably wouldn't make it to the appointment anyways so I wasn't upset. After all I had my book to keep me company. At 1:45 I finished my book and started to get really bored and hungry. Because of the storm we had over night, I guess some people were late to their appointments so the doctor was backed up. Which I guess shows he's a good man for not turning people away.

At 2pm I was called in. The doctor immediately apologuised and expressed regret that he hadn't been able to meet John. Then he gave me a refresher of the female reproductive system and what he wants to accomplish. He said that, like me, he is not 100% confident of the PCOS disgnosis without proper testing. So he started the ball rolling. He did a blood test to see if I was pregnant. I should get those results in 24 hours. If negative then I do a round of my good friend progesterone. On day 1 of my cycle I call for an appointment and on cycle day 3 I should be for an untrasound to see what I have going on in me. Oh yeah plus bring back John's spunk cup. The doctor said within 10 days I should have a concrete disgnosis and a plan for the future. I'm excited! I can't wait to start moving forward towards my baby! Will 2009 be our year?

Thursday January 8, 2009

The doctor called and it's BRN. So it's okay to start the Prevera. Within the next few weeks I should have my period and then the ultrasound and then the diagnosis. And then, hopefully pregnancy.

I got some potentially devistating news at work today and it's been all I can think of. I'm shaken by this uncertanty. John and I made a promise that no matter what happens at my work, we will continue on our journey to get pregnant. This is a decision we have made for our whole life. We feel that no matter what we will never regret having a family (Yes I'm truly blessed to have him as a husband even though he's far from perfect). Plus it would be nice to have something to look forward to. Now only if we can get some GOOD news!

Saturday January 17, 2009

Unfortunately this week brought the close to my company. It was a bit of a shock...plus the owner didn't give us any money we were owed (not the last 2 weeks pay, not our 2 weeks hold back nor vacation or severance or anything). Which leaves me in a bit of a bad place.

I finished my last Provera (progesterone) tablet today. So that means AF is due for a visit!

Wednesday January 21, 2009

Could this be cycle day 1?

Friday January 23, 2009

Cycle day 3 - Ultrasound performed this morning and 8 vials of blood taken. Had John do a semen sample for the clinic and then was told it was too old (It was only taken 45 minutes prior). Poor guy will have to do it again. Regardless, I got some good news...not this way sound odd to be worried about, but I was actually worried I didn't have a uterus or flopian tubes or eggs or something. But turns out that I DO!!! Wahoo! The Nurse told me to start on a multi vitimin and folic acid and to come back cycle day 9 for anoterh ultrasound. Will also have to do a semo soon...which is okay. I'm not worried about potential pain...just concerned about the $75 it costs! LOL.

I have 2 job interviews today so we'll see how it goes. Fingers crossed! Lets hope the good news of this morning continues!

Thursday January 29, 2009

Cycle day 9 - Wow is it really the end of January already? Time is flying by! Ultrasound performed this morning and only 1 vial of blood taken. I was in and out in about ten minutes. Today they only did the internal ultrasound which I found odd. The tech didn't explain things as she had before. When I left all I saw on the screen was what I think was an ovary with a large black speck. Is this a cyst? Is this a follicle? I will have to research and find out. I have to return for another ultrasound on Monday (cycle day 13).

Still unemployed and trying not to let my spirits get down.

Update: apparently I was supposed to have a sonohysterography today but no one told me. Great! They have rescheduled me for February 7th at 12:10pm. Not sure if it's wise to perform on cycle day 18, but they are the doctors, not me! Also, they said it costs $85 now not $75. Great!

Friday January 30, 2009

Cycle day 10 - The clinic called today and rescheduled the sonohysterography to Sunday at 11:30. That will be my cycle day 12. The doctor must have reconsidered the cycle date! This test will be performed by my doctor and I am happy about that. I haven't seen him since my initial consultation and I'm not sure what that means...are my ultrasounds coming back fine so there's been no need to see him? I will have to make a list of questions to ask Sunday.

Sunday February 1, 2009

Cycle day 12 - My sonohysterography was pretty much as I feared it would be, but a little better as well. My cramps are almost gone (thanks painkillers!), the rest of my body is still tense and I still feel like I could pee any minute. I am almost 100% better when I lay down and relax, yet it comes right back when I try to walk arround too much (thanks gravity!). But I'm due at my inlaws soon so no more relaxing for me!

My apt today was at 11:30, but the doctor didn't get to the clinic until Noon. He performed the test quickly and didn't tell me much besides that there are no blockages and everything is pretty much as it should be. Tomorrow I have another ultrasound at 8:30am and then he wants me to book an apt to "discuss how we should proceed." I was expecting him to wait until the end of my cycle to discuss that, especially since as he has said, everything looks fine and obviously I couldn't have ovulated yet (if I'm going to). Unless he is convinced it's just a matter of introducing some hormones to correct my defincicies and get a proper cycle started.

Monday February 2, 2009

Cycle day 13 - Today brought me back to the clinic for yet another ultrasound. It was the same tech whom I saw yesterday with the doctor in Mississauga. I was still very tender from yesterday's procedure. Ouch! I was there about a half hour by the time they took another vial of blood and had the nurse talk to me. She said that next Monday with be my last diagnostic ultrasound! Which is good and also scary...what's next? She said that the doctor will meet with me after that and we'll decide how to move forward. She said that he reviews my file every time I am in and that he has not put any notes on my file, which means no major worries or concerns. Hopefully he can correct this hormonal thing I have and we'll be on our way to conception!

Next ultrasound is scheduled for Wednesday at 8:30am.

Tuesday February 3, 2009

Cycle day 14 - My 1 Year Anniversary of being on the site! (I also got a job! yea!)

Friday February 6, 2009

Cycle day 17 - I'm not sure exactly what's going on with the site. I want to update but every time I do it removed any formatting. It's a big job to fix it all so I have put off updating. It sucks because I really like this site.

Wednesday was cycle day 15. My follicle was small (0.8?) but developing. They did an ultrasound, took blood and were hopeful that I would ovulate, just late. The said my last ultrasounds this cycle would be Friday and Monday.

Today I went in, they took blood and did an ultrasound. Even though I am cramping, my follicle has stopped growing and thus I will not be ovulating. She said my Monday ultrasound was canceled and to come in next Friday (cycle day 24) for end of cycle blood work. That's it for this month. I am to wait until there's an apt avalable to see the doctor. But that can only happen after hubby does his sperm test again...very hard to do with shift work and a clinic that will only take men between 11am - 2pm, Monday to Friday. So who knows when I will see the Doctor or when I will start my next cycle.

I definately learned some good things this cycle and am glad I did the tests. I just feel a bit let down and wish there was something I could do NOW to continue thus journey. I don't want to just sit around and wait again.

We got some bad news today as well. John's father has stomach cancer. His mother is recovering from Breast Cancer so it's another blow to the family. But both his parents are strong so we are optimistic. And we want to give them grandchildren more than ever!

Thursday February 12, 2009

Cycle day 23 - Yesterday was my 4 month married anniversary (wahoo!) and I was given a date for my follow up appointment. It's March 6 @ 6:45am at their Mississauga location. Tomorrow I am due in the Brampton location for end of cycle testing so I'm not sure why I have to wait so long to see the doctor.

Friday February 13, 2009

Cycle day 24 - Happy Friday the 13th~! Today I had my end of cycle blood test. In the next week or so I will have to get hubby in for the sperm test. But other than that, this cycle is over. I'm pretty sure I won't menstruate this month so I might as well call it over now. Hopefully next cycle my little egg will grow more and we can see some progress. Oh yes and drugs. LOL. Good luck to everyone else TTC. May you have a successful cycle this cycle.

Monday February 23, 2009

Cycle day 34? - My husband John was able to finally do his sperm test today. Apparently they offer a nice private room with a magazine (1) and a porn video (1) with head phones. They took 6 vials of blood from him as well. The nurse had some difficulty finding a vein, possibly due to his diabetes. When he left, the receptionist said "hopefully soon you'll have little babies running around." :) 11 days until our appointment with the doctor to discuss what's next. I can't wait!

Sunday March 1, 2009

Cycle day 39? - Since my husband did his sperm test, the phone has been ringing off the hook from the fertility clinic. They want him to do another blood test, another sperm test (this will be #3) and a scrotal ultrasound. I'm dying to know why! Of course when John talks to them he "forgets" to ask questions. I figure it's your body and you have a right to know! I think perhaps he didn't wait long enough after sex to provide a sample and it was lower in volume then they would like. My clinic is a little test crazy (ie. me having a painful sonohysterography even though they had no concrete reason to believe I had blockages). We're supposed to see the doctor on Friday but now I have to work at that time. I hope I can get it off because I'd really like some answers and a plan of action.

Thursday March 5, 2009

Cycle day ? - Tomorrow was supposed to be our plan of action appointment. I looked forward to it and was actually excited. Today the clinic called and canceled. Apparently the doctor feels that without John going for these additional tests, he feels he cannot properly diagnose us and more forward with fertility treatment. So who knows when my journey will continue. I'm pretty pissed. I guess this means that maybe my fertility problems are fixable...unfortunately maybe this means as far as the doctor can tell, John's aren't...I really hope it was just a bad test from not waiting long enough. I really, really hope.

Tuesday March 17, 2009

Cycle day ? - Happy St Patty's Day! John got another call from the clinic tonight -- on his cell phone! They are very eager to have him come back in. They told him the reason they need another blood test is because of his blood sugar results. He's diabetic and they know that so I'm not surprised that it's a little different than non-diabetic people. Diabetic men also have lower volumes of sperm...perhaps the need for an additional test? Regardless this upcoming Tuesday John has the day off and will do his testing again.

Thursday March 19, 2009

Cycle day ? - The appointment for Tuesday is set. But now they want John to go in and do pricey DNA testing as well. Why is this so difficult???

Wednesday March 25, 2009

Cycle day ? - John finally had a day off so he got his scrotal ultrasound done yesterday and they took 5 vials of blood. The next test is not a blood test but a sperm DNA test that is $250. I think we've spent a lot of time and money looking at his sperm when it's a proven fact that I do not ovulate and that's the cause of our fertility problems. I suppose they want to rule everything out...I just hope they come to a conclusion before I'm bankrupt or past menopause! The nurse told John that I was supposed to be there yesterday with him...to do what? Hold his hand? I don't mean to sound bitter but I think it's a little cold how the doctor has refused to see us. Originally we were told we could do the $250 test at our leisure, but yesterday John was told he had to get it done before we could even think of booking an apointment. I realize the doctor is busy but it's been almost 3 full months since I last saw him. And that was just the initial consultation! It seems like money is more important than my health. If I have a proven medical condition shouldn't we work on fixing that while we wait for John's results?

---

Comments on First 4 months with treatment