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kickboxerbaby
	Age: 30 Country: USA Province/region: North East City: Carteret Partner: David Children: Yes, 4 Pregnant: No Due date: 25 Dec ,2011 Occupation: EVERYTHING
	Online: 18 days ago. Last updated: 37 days ago. Member since: 989 days
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12-7-2009 - Why have best friends

My mood while writing this blog:
Angry

Why have best friends?

I can not believe how my two best friends are acting... First of all we have been friends since middle school so for atleast 17 years. Second, which I know is most important to them is I moved 3 hours away last September. Neither one of them have made it to see my new house. Neither one of them have met me halfway to have lunch. Neither one of them have attempted to find time to come and visit. I have gone there for birthday dinners. I have gone there for New Years Eve partys. I have gown down just for the weekend and hung out for old times sake. And now when I need them most they are both telling me that they can't come to my baby shower!!! Which by the way I am not suppose to know about. One of them is refusing to take off work that day. Even though she has known when it is for a month already. And the other is refusing to make the drive by herself. Now I have made this drive alone and with two kids. Set up babysitters with family in their area just to be able to have dinner with them. THIS IS MY DAY!!! I don't mean to sound selfish but come on. I have no friends her in Jersey yet. I am a stay at home mom. I haven't met anyone. All the work I do is via the computer so I haven't even had time to make new mom friends with the parents of my kids friends. My family all live there so I truely have no one and neither one of them is willing to give up one day to be here for me. I am completely crushed. I have cried. I have yelled. At this point I don't want to go to my own baby shower. I hate this feeling. I feel completely alone. Why in the world would anyone be this selfish? Why can't either of them just be here for me just this once. Not to mention they both had the awdacity to complain to me about money and how hard it would be for them to buy a gift. Which is even worse since one just bought a brand new car and the other just bought herself a $1700 MAC. For people strapped for cash that's some pretty expensive spending habits. I am just tired of feeling lied to. I can't stand it any more. If they don't want to be my friend anymore then why wont they just leave me alone. I don't need it. I don't want it. And I deserve better! Sorry about the rant I am just really hurt and very angry.

9 Comments on Why have best friends

RiaDia - Monday, 13 Jul
Wow I am sorry!! I can't believe your friends are acting like that. If I moved I know of a few friends that would more than likly be the same. Maybe try talking to one of them or both & just say hey I would be doing it for you even if I couldn't afford anything. But when I say I'm broke I literally mean I have $1 in pennies in a jar.lol. You should try getting out & find a mommy group I think it would really help especially right now! I am on cafemom.com also & they have groups on there I'm in the one for my area & they meet. though I have never went I use this site more. Good luck & I really hope things get better.

claire louise - Monday, 13 Jul
OMG U go girl you have every right to rant. Have they got children? Yes i agree it's one day for their best friend it's so wrong. Still be strong and happy for you and the baby. Wish i was near as I would love to come lol. Tell them how you fell! And how it's affecting you.
Sending hugs.xx

remoore12 - Monday, 13 Jul
I have lived 3 different places now in the last 5 years. My husband is Military, so I completely understand what you're saying. I thought for sure that some of my friends back home will still, to this day, be my best friends. That I would see them a bunch of times. Especially because I live in Florida now, hello...gorgeous! But like 2ndlibrababy said, things change. I quickly found out who my real friends are. And I'm not mad at those, anymore, who I've sort of lost touch with or haven't seen. I just had to accept the fact that I moved away, that people grow apart, and those who are good friends will always do whatever they can to see you happy!
I hope things work out for you!! I'm sure they still love you, and want the best for you. They'll come around when they realize they've hurt your feelings. Good luck and be stress free! You deserve it.

2ndlibrababy - Monday, 13 Jul
The only thing we can count on in life is "change". It is sad and I understand your anger, but you are three hours away and friendships change when you put distance between them. They don't end, they simply change. It seems to me that you are starting a new chapter in your life and I pray that you find some excitement in that. It's bitter sweet, I know. Good luck to you.

femi - Monday, 13 Jul
I've had the same issues with some good, long-time friends. It does hurt and I did cry. But they didn't get it until I actually told them how important it is to me. Also, I have a new goal this year: brush it off my shoulder. I'm not making as much of an effort if they aren't, either. Trust me, it's been hard since I'm such a caring/people person. But I can't keep giving my all if they are not doing the same. So, now, I try not to call as much, visit as much, and I try to go out of my way to meet new people and just have new people to have coffee with, etc. It's been cool to meet new people that are there for me just 'cause the friendship is so new. There's something about old friendships that make people think that they can get away with not doing those important, significant things. I don't know why. I say: tell them each how you feel and why and don't try to sugarcoat and then make an effort to not see/call them as much if they aren't doing the same.

Jody04 - Monday, 13 Jul
I would be mega pissed off too!! My best friends are organising my shower (granted they live in the same city as me) but I would be so so angry with them if they didn't even make the effort to attend. It's such an important time to us (pregnant ladies). It will be hard for you to let these feelings go if they don't come and may interfere with your relationship. If you can calm down :) have a chat to them but then again a hormonal rage might make them see sense hehe. Best of luck and try not to let it get you down.

mothermiracle3 - Sunday, 12 Jul
Yea I have gained and lost best friends as well and it sounds like, yea they just dont wanna be bothered which is not how typical best friends act or at least that I have ever heard of, and thats horrible I know...but dont let them get you to far down and enjoy your baby shower, and if it makes you feel better when your all calmed down...talk to them about your feelings

mamadear04 - Sunday, 12 Jul
Sorry your so upset...I might not have very good advice ,but here it is anyway..I have had a few best friends in my life, and now they are not my friends anymore..I found that its better to call my friends close friends and never call them best friends..I find that best friends cross to many boundry's , and I have learned that the hard way......I don't think that any one has hurt me worst than the people I once called best friends..You should still enjoy your baby shower..With or without them....Hopefully they will try to at least make it up to you...

saawmummy - Sunday, 12 Jul
You should talk to them in a few days when you are not so angry, even though you have every right to be. Lay down all the points minus the emotions and ask for their honesty. Good luck with it.

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