09-9-2009 - My parents aren\'t coming

My mood while writing this blog: Hurt

I thought that I had thought of everything. Well today I was talking to my mom. (Which is something I do at least twice a day every day) I asked her if I needed to make sure to bring a spare set of keys to my home with me to the hospital so that her and my dad could go back to my house after the baby is born. This way they can stay, sleep, get showers and spend time with our girls before having to make the 3 hour trip back home. I was hoping they would stay for atleast two or three days especially seeing this is their first grandson. Instead I was told by my mom that they may not be able to afford taking off work to come and see him and that they may wait until the first or second weekend he is born. I just kinda sat there on the phone "yeah mom I understand" "sure you have to do what's best for you and daddy" "maybe we will luck out and he will be born on the weekend" I don't even remember getting off the phone. Just this feeling of utter devistation. As if a giant bomb just exploded inside me and all I could do was cry. I must have sat on my bed with tears streaming down my cheeks for atleast an hour. I don't even think I made a sound. I know it's not like anyone died so why do I feel as if someone did? Their my parents. What can I say. I know how horrible the drive is. I know how expensive the tolls are. And yes this isn't my first child. But it is the first grandson and I have never delivered without them. I feel so alone and abandoned right now. Just kinda empty. I know I have my husband but it just doesn't feel right knowing my family wont be there.