29-9-2009 - I hate this OB!!!

My mood while writing this blog: Angry

Today was my 40 + wk appt. I had to go on NST as usual which showed more contractions but baby was just fine. When it was time to come off the only doc available was the only one I requested never to have. She's not real personable and just rubs me the wrong way every time I see her. I have no idea how she is an OB. Her hands are way to small and she couldn't even reach my cervix. Her knuckles were pushing so hard on the outside that when I went to the bathroom afterward I realized she actually made me bleed from what seems like my clitorous area. There's actually blood. She never even touched my cervix (All of you know you can feel when they do) Then she looked at me and sad. He's head down and I am pretty sure your about one cm. First of all pretty sure doesn't fit my vocab coming from a doctor and second ab0ut one means I have lost 1/2 a cm to a cm. Which is kinda impossible. I am uncomfortable and angry. Now I have to go back for another U/S on Friday and then they want me to schedule an induction for next week. Which means we wont have anyone to watch the kids because my husbands family will be back at Childrens Hospital with our niece starting Sunday and staying for the next few weeks. We explained this to the doctor and she said if we couldnt find anyone to watch the kids then my husband will just have to miss the birth of our son. WHAT THE? I am so irratated by all of this. Like how dare she? So now the clock is really ticking and he needs to come out by Thursday so that everything works out. Other wise I am half tempted to drink half a gallon of Castrol Oil. Show up at L & D ungodly sick and have them induce me anyway. (OK I really wouldn't do that) I am however at my wits end and have been crying pretty much since we left the doctors. I am so angry and hurt and overwhelmed and I just don't know what else to do. I can't stand how I am feeling and how absolutely furious I am. Now what are we supposed to do? Just do me a favor everyone and pray that he comes out tonight so that I don't have to worry any more.