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kinta
Age: 23
Country: AU
Province/region: New South Wales
City: Sydney
Partner: ex-partner = Chris (still good friends)
Children: Yes, 2
Pregnant: Please select
Due date: 09 0 ,0000
Occupation: Mum/Student
Online: More than 3 months ago
Last updated: 988 days ago.
Member since: 2329 days
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03-9-2008 - Weight gainnn and feeling SHlT powerlessMy mood while writing this blog:
powerless



I know I should stop getting to hung up about my weight, but this is how I feel so I want to talk about.

So this is my weight gain so far....

Pre-pregnancy - 56kg (123lbs)

12 weeks - 58kg (128lbs)

17 weeks - 60kg (132lbs)

19 weeks - 62kg (136lbs)

21 weeks - 63kg (139lbs)

(almost) 24 weeks - 64kg (141lbs)

Total weight gain so far - 18lbs

I feel really depressed, unattractive and fat. I know weight gain is normal and that I need to gain weight to look after my growing baby. But I never thought it would be so much so fast. I feel so out of control. I've always had body issues even before I was pregnant and would get upset over gaining 1kg let alone 8 kg!! It's so upseting. I don't fit into any of my clothes and I can't afford to go buy new ones because I'm unemployed and poor and have to rely on my boyfriend for everything and there is nothing I can do about it. If anyone says I should go look for a job I'll kill them because I look for jobs every fortnight, so it's not like I'm just lazy and dont want to work (plus I also study 3 days a week at university) ANYWAY, I just wish I could shake this feeling and just enjoy being pregnant, but everytime I look in the mirror I cry because I'm terrified I will never lose this weight and I'll end up being this fat young mother that everyone will look at and say to themselves "See, thats why you shouldn't have kids young" I know its selfish and stupid to be so obsessed with myself, but I've never had to think about anyone else and I don't want to give up all the things I do to make myself feel good, like getting my hair done and buying clothes because I'm not naturally pretty and will just be gross. Blah. I'm so pathetic I hate it. I have everything I need but no matter what I have I'm always unhappy with how I look. Its been this way for so long and being pregnant hasn't made it go away, if anything, its made it a little worse since I'm powerless. For anyone who has had body issues and anything like that, I think you'd understand what I mean when I say that food controls your life, I used to think about everything I ate and if I ate too much for lunch I would have a cup of tea for dinner. Sometimes I would go all day without eating or only drink coffee and smoke so I wouldn't feel hungry. I guess this baby has made me healthy, but right now I'd rather be unhealthy and skinny than healthy and fat...Don't get me wrong, I'm not putting myself in any danger, I eat healthy and walk 4-5 times a week and I wouldnt do anything to hurt my baby. It's just such a struggle...

I dont know what else to write, I'm just rambling on about crap and will stop.




1 Comments on Weight gainnn and feeling SHlT


MaddoxAndAverysMama - Monday, 22 Sep
go look at this. I put in that you were 123 before and at week 26 now and it says you should weigh from 139-145 and your perfect weight is 142 right now and 156 at 40 weeks...

i am gaining just like this site says to.. and apparently so are you..except I am 5'10 and weighed 160lbs prior to pregnancy, but my BMI was 23 prior to pregnancy... which is "Healthy weight"... I calculate my BMI through Jenny Craig website... How tall are you in ft/inches?

http://www.fortunebaby.com/pregnancy-weight-gain-calculator.html?startCal=Y&BWeight=123&week=26
Photos
Bonnie is almost 18 months and Ollie is 13 days (2010, 06, 23) getting dressed by dad (2009, 04, 30) What do you want? (2009, 04, 30) Another bad photo of me (2009, 04, 30) all of us (2009, 04, 30) Mullet child :P  (2009, 04, 30) 9 weeks, big smiles for mum (2009, 03, 23) 3 weeks old! (2009, 01, 29) Bonnie (left) and my partner Chris as a baby (right) (2009, 02, 03) LOL (2009, 02, 03)  (2009, 02, 03)  (2009, 02, 03) 39 weeks (2008, 12, 21) 38weeks3days (2008, 12, 16) 38 weeks (2008, 12, 13) 38 weeks (front view) (2008, 12, 13) 37 weeks (2008, 12, 10) Click here to see all kinta`s photos

Children
Bonnie-Geddes-Cannon (2009) Ollie-Geddes-Cannon (2010)

Latest blogs
30-10-2010 - Update (30.10.10)
09-9-2010 - UPDATE!!
14-6-2010 - PREGNANCY UPDATES (from profile)
21-5-2010 - Scan update
16-5-2010 - Update - 35 weeks 2 days
05-4-2010 - Update (with pictures)
01-2-2010 - IT'S A BOY!!!
17-12-2009 - Bonnie walking
04-12-2009 - 2nd Ultrasound (with pictures)
03-12-2009 - Baby Belly (Pregnancy #2)
03-11-2009 - 1st Ultrasound
29-10-2009 - Weight (just for me)
29-10-2009 - Bullshit!
26-10-2009 - PREGNANCY SURVEY
22-10-2009 - BF......
24-8-2009 - First born survey
20-7-2009 - Annoying Family
15-6-2009 - Post Partum weight loss photos
29-4-2009 - Failure
08-1-2009 - Bonnie's Birth Story
21-12-2008 - OWCH!!!!!
14-10-2008 - Please let everything be ok
06-10-2008 - Alcohol Problem
25-9-2008 - Still upset
24-9-2008 - Times going by so fast!
03-9-2008 - Weight gainnn and feeling SHlT
19-8-2008 - So cute....
04-8-2008 - IT'S A......
27-7-2008 - Pregnancy Survey

Nurseryroom

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Added: 2008, 12, 18
Number of pictures: 3

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November 2008
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December 2008
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