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27-6-2009 - So why do I feel bad?

My mood while writing this blog: weak and tired

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I am very exhausted while writing this so sorry about the typing errors.

Well as you guys probably know I announce that me and my husband were moving into our own apartment due to drama and stress plus bills that we can't handle anymore with this one. The lease is not up yet but after the threat my brother made towards my husband, he couldn't take it anymore and wanted out. Now I feel bad because now my brother has no where to go and he said that since this lease is not up he won't be able to get another apartment. I did not want this to happen this way. I can't even look at him or talk with him very long because he seems to be depressed and disappointed. But if you guys would read all my previous blogs, you will probably see why we said enough is enough. But yet I see feel this sadness over me. He honestly wasn't helping with the electric bill or food probably due to him not being here he claims but it is so much more into this story. I don't asked for money from him unless we really need it but his responds is, I don't have it. But yet you can get other stuff for yourself. I would of never done that to him. When he needed gas money, I would give it to him no problems. Oh and I hate when I owe him money. He will bug me for days about it. But when he owes me money I dont say anything but he will remind me that he owes it to me and pay it back. This brother and sister relationship has falling apartment completely since my husband came into my life. And now that he has a gf, he seems to be more closer to her than me. But I am happy for him because he is happy to finally find a girl that is perfect for him. I wish he can say the same about me but he can't stand my husband. So its time to move on with my life. It really hurts to end it this way but sometimes people need to watch what they say.

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3 Comments on So why do I feel bad?


blesd - Sunday, 28 Jun
hey kionna, it's natural to feel bad when your a good person regardless if your in the right or the wrong. the problem with good people like us is that we allow these feelings to control our actions; and when we should be "mean" were not and people take advaantage, family or friend. remember that your niceness is what got you into problems because your brother didn't appreciate you and what you've done for him and his kid(s), and everything else. you did the best you can and now you have to look out for yourself and continue to put you and your family 1st considering that your brother is looking out for him and not looking at your sacrifices. when time comes he'll realize but you have to stay strong and know that your not in the wrong! don't feel guilty and when you do remember all the things he's put you and your family through! even though he's your brother and you had a good relationship, don't base what you do anymore on that because he obvioulsly doesn't value that good relationship the way you do! stay strong, and pray! a good book to get is the disease to please.

fortysomething - Sunday, 28 Jun
It sounds like that old saying you never miss the water til the well runs dry. Your brother is depressed and upset now that he is stuck having to do it on his own, and didn't realize how good he had it before. Most people don't. Family often abuse situations just because they are family. You have to look out for you. Its a shame you and your brother's relationship has soured, but living with someone sometimes causes this to happen. Either you would have stayed and was miserable, or leave and feel a little guilty. You had to make a choice. I think the latter is better cause it doesn't cause so much stress on your relationship with your hubby and pregnancy. Good luck and I hope things work out for you.

sept-mummy - Sunday, 28 Jun
Hello there - I had a read of some of your other blogs too and i think it's time you and your husband made a break from your brother and his ways. You feel bad because you and your brother have a special bond and family have a way of making us feel guilty, even if their actions hurt us or our loved ones (your DH). Keep strong and try not to let your brothers problems become your problems. Big hugs. E x