kjslover's I-am-pregnantblog

kjslover
	Age: 27 Country: US Province/region: City: Partner: Kyle Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: Pharmacy
	Online: 30 days ago. Last updated: 719 days ago. Member since: 1121 days
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27-10-2010 - argh

My mood while writing this blog:
Ok

I am at my wits end. We have a unique situation...when Paige was born my parents were living with us because my Dad was unemployed. My daughter slept through the night from 2 to 3 months old until I returned to work. At 3 months when I returned to work my mother started putting my daughter down for naps in her bed against my wishes. I did NOT want her to co-sleep but apparently my mother knew what was best for my child or it was just plain selfishness, you decide. Either way, I started having a hard time getting my daughter to sleep at night from then on and since they lived with us I just gave in to what she wants and let her sleep in her bed since it was just across the house. My parents moved out in July. For over a month I fought with Paige to get her to sleep in her crib and then I even tried to transition her to our bed with us but no luck. She would wake up multiple times a night and often times would refuse to go back to sleep. Of course all the while taking naps during the day in my Mom's bed (she keeps her during the day). It has gotten so bad that I usually end up just taking her over to my Mom's house every night. I feel like a worthless mother. My daughter doesn't want me. She has nuclear meltdowns when I try to get her to sleep with us. I miss her! I want her to want me, not my mother. I cry just about every night and I am so ashamed of our situation. I don't know how to break the cycle because my mother is not willing to work with me. I have asked her on several occasions to not let her sleep in her bed but she just ends up doing it anyway. I know I won't be able to put a stop to it unless my mother just stops altogether. But that would mean she would actually have to get up with her instead of just being able to put her in bed with her. I'm so frustrated and upset I don't know what to do anymore. We've tried the Ferber method against my better judgement and of course as I suspected it did not work for us. I feel helpless...

2 Comments on argh

kickboxerbaby - Saturday, 30 Oct
I really wish I could help you with this one but I am having a simular situation. When Logan was smaller he was sick so I was afriad to put him in his crib. Even though it's in our room. Then as he got older he continued to get sick and we have gotten used to having to rock him to sleep because he could only sleep sitting up. Now at 1 year I can't put him down in his crib. He has to be rocked and 100% asleep before I can lay him down and some nights he wakes 2-5 times just wanting to be held and rocked. We have tried letting him cry it out but all that does is cause him to get so upset he starts hyperventalating. My only suggestion would be that you have your mother spend the night and listen to what she's doing. Don't allow her to intervene but put the monitor in her room so she can hear how upset your daughter is. Also tell her how it's making you feel as a mother and tell her that it's not fair to you or your daughter. If she still doesn't understand what she's doing maybe it's time to look for someone else to care for her. Drastic yes but you need help not confrentation.

2angelbabies - Thursday, 28 Oct
Hi Sweetie, I am so sorry you are going through this. Being a mommy is very hard and your mom is not helping. I know that hearing our babies cry is hard. For my kids I put them in their crib and let me cry to sleep. With Lilly it took her about a week but she would spend about four hours screaming. I would go in lay her down say nite nite and walk out. That way she still knew I was there but not picking her up. After she would go to bed now only cry half an hour then to sleep she goes. Next I went for nap. I would lay her in the crib and walk out. This also took a week and then she started to cry only sleeping half an hour and then I would put her in the playpen in our room and she would finish her nap. That took about 2 weeks. Now when I lay her down she goes right to sleep and sleeps for 2 hours straight in her bed. For your little girl I know its hard but let her cry to sleep I promise it won't hurt her. If she wakes up at night just let her cry she will go back to sleep. It is very hard at the beginning but don't give in be strong. Tell your mom what you are doing and when she goes to your mom house ask instead of her sleeping in her bed for nap you would like her to sleep in the play pen. She can sleep next to her but you would like her in her playpen so that way she knows no more beds. I hope this helps any. Its hard being a mommy but crying does not hurt it hurts mommy's but not them :). Please let me know how things go. Have a good weekend.

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