11-2-2009 - Stepping up

My mood while writing this blog: sorta ok

So I did it today ladies. I bit the bullet and contacted the new girlfriend. When I was writing the message to her I felt like I was doing the right thing. Now that a few hours have passed I'm not too sure....second thoughts after I already sent it. I let my baby's father know that I had sent it and he said that's cool. But know I think I should have just let it go without contacting her. I'm so confused about my whole situation. And now that I've been put on bed rest.....all I can think about is what's going on with him and her. Where will the baby fit in with them. This is driving me crazy, seriously this is all I think about. I can't turn it off in my head. I know myself very well and I know I'd be doing alot better if he wasn't seeing someone....building a realationship with her.

I keep trying to remind myself that this girl is a good person, but yet the question is still there......"What woman in there right mind starts a realationship with someone knowing he has a child on the way"? She is a nice person, she has her head on her shoulders, she only believes in long term realationships--meaning she doesn't jump from guy to guy, she does love kids, she isn't pyscho at all or a bitch.....if she were it would be so much easier not to like her. I don't have anything bad to say about her. But yet my question is still there. Don't get me wrong, he's not off the hook on what he has done to me or this baby. I think maybe I'm not over it as much as I think I am. I am still hurt about the whole thing, but how long am I suppose to hold onto that.