24-3-2009 - New Issue...making me very angry

My mood while writing this blog: trying to figure out why

So today I've been trying to figure out why????

Again it's the same old issue that I've had during this pregnancy, but this is sorta new. As most of you who read my blogs know me and my baby's father aren't together, that's nothingn new. He has a girlfriends who keeps crossing the line with me. And it doesn't seem to matter what I say, they keep doing different things that make me feel like I'm just their "baby grower". I know I keep repeating myself about this, but my sitution is not changing. If anything it keeps getting worse.

Ok, here's what happen today. I got a call from his mom yesturday after my doctors appointment....she was just checking how it went. Me and her have a wonderful relationship, we are awesome friends, I have the upmost respect for her. She has told me on various occassion in the past that I am her best friend. So her calling wasn't a big deal to me, no biggie I told her about having a ultrasound set up for tomorrow (Wednesday) at 3pm. She got so excited because we may finally be able to find out what I'm having. She asked if she could come with me..I told her yes. She went with me to my first ultrasound and was totally amazed to see her grandchild. So of course I want her to come along. Anyways this morning I get a call from the father. First he actually asked how I was....blew my mind, wow he finally thought to ask. But then of course that wasn't what he was calling for. He was calling to ask if Bev (girlfriend)could come along. His mom told him about the ultrasound---which is no biggie, I don't care about that. I care about the fact that he would actually ask if Bev can come to my ultrasound. Apparently he has taken the day off work and will be coming with his mom. Whatever right, wow he's finally showing a bit of interest. But why in the hell should she be there. Me and her are not friends, we're not family, hell I don't even like her.....so why would I ok her to be there. Me having an ultrasound to find out how MY baby is doing is about me and the baby.....NOT HER.

So of course I tell him no. He gets all pissy on the phone because he just can't figure out what the problem is. He can't seem to realize that an US is something that is a big deal to the mother. So again I'm stuck with the feeling about what I say doesn't matter. I mean why would it matter right, I'm just the person who has had every emotion, every movement go on with me. But apparently this is still about these two, not about me or this baby. And again, I will bet BIG BUCKS that she ends up at the hospital. (Don't worry ladies I have already let the hospital know the list of people who are allowed-----I gave them the list last week. And I will let the nurses know again whenever I do go in labor. Plus my brother in law has put his foot down about her not being there). And the way the father is going with wanting her to be involved in everything, I'm seriously thinking about not wanting him there either. I know that may sound harsh but that's how I feel right now.

I understand that these two are together, seriously how could I forget right. I also understand that she will be a part of this babies life. But can I at least talk to him first about how "we" are suppose to do this. I'm not allowed to talk to him---why you ask, well because he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure if this is his rule or her's. But this is how I look at it. He is the father, he has the right to be his childs dad. So I think me and him should be able to sit down and talk, considering "we" are suppose to be friends. Now if we (me and him) are friends and they have this ulimate bond that can't be broken, why should it matter if we talk alone about our child. I mean seriuosly what is the big deal about me and him sitting down and talking. Plus with the time getting closer and closer I pretty sure there are some things that me and him need to figure out.

So ladies until tomorrow. I'll let you all know how it goes. Cross your fingers that my little monkey will be a little perfomer and lets us have a little peak.lol Oh and if I haven't said it before.....Good luck to all of you. Congrats to all you mommies.