30-3-2009 - Bored out of my mind

My mood while writing this blog: waititng

Hello ladies. Hope all is well with you all. For my self I'm going bonkers. I can't help it. This whole waiting game is really starting to get to me. It seems that the only thing I want to do is sleep. And it's not even that I need too, it's because I'm totally bored out of my mind. I am that girl who has always worked, always kept busy by doing something. And now I just don't want to do anything because it's getting harder and harder to get around like I normally do.(I don't know maybe it has something to do with a little guys head being in postion.lol) I haven't worked in 6 weeks. I think that's what alot of my problem is because I actually love my job. For the past 14 years I have worked on call 24/7 and now I'm just sitting around doing nothing 24/7. I have nothing to pre occupy my mind, so all I do is sit and think about how my life has changed over the past few months. Which isn't good at all, because it pretty much sucks, except for my little man inside me--he's about the only good thing.

I don't know ladies I think I'm just having a pitty party for myself. I have such a miracle to look forward too, but yet it seems like he's taking forever to get here. I just wish he'd get a move on already.lol I'm hoping that when I go to my doctors appointment later on today she'll give me some good news. Hopefully I have made some progress over the past week, I'm going to be crossing my fingers. Maybe I should have waited to start my countdown until now, not over a month ago like I did. I have 15 days to go and it seems like that's 9 months are left. I can say that even though I've had my ups and downs during this whole pregnancy the time has flown bye up until now. Now it's just a day by day waiting game...uggg.

With all this time on my hands my mind just seems to wonder. So for the past couple of days I've been freaking myself out about going into labor. Just the thought of the first contraction...Will I know it's a contraction or just think it's another pain that will just go away? And then I wonder once they start coming on stronger and stronger---how the hell am I going to deal with the pain, I don't do pain period. Believe me I'm definately getting drugs once I'm at the hospital and it's time, but what I'm talking about is before I goto the hospital, how long should I try to deal with the pain on my own. I am really a big baby when it comes to pain. I've tried not to focus on the whole labor thing but with it getting closer it's a little hard not too.

Well I guess I'm done for now. Sorry if it seems like I'm just rambleing...blah blah blah.lol I'll try to remember to give an update later after my appointment to let you all know how things are coming along. So until next time I wish you all a good day.