| klo0426 | |
 | Age: 34 Country: USA Province/region: City: Michigan Partner: single Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: |
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7 Comments on What to do
MOMATAVIA23 - Wednesday, 22 Apr
NO I DONT THINK THAT IS A GOOD IDEA RITE NOW HE IS JUS TO SMALL I MEAN NOT EVEN A MONTH OLD I DONT THINK THAT IS A GOOD IDEA Y CAINT HE SPEND THE NITE AT YOUR HOUSE WITH HIM AND LEARN MORE ABOUT HOW TO TAKE CARE OF HIM AND I REALLY WOULD NOT WANT MY BABY AROUND A WOMAN I BARELY GET ALONG WITH
SAHM-with-children - Wednesday, 22 Apr
I think that is a good idea and you could even maybe bring her to your house for a couple of feedings and see what and how she does with him and maybe get to get along with her a little bit ya know even though it will be really hard all the way through ya know it is going to have to happen so that it is a better enviroment for your little man ya know and as for steve the men always have a hard time with babies when they are this small....lol.....even my husband has a very very hard time with our son he wont change his diaper nor is he good at burping him either he stinks at it...lol...and when colby spits up he like starts getting all nervous and all wanting a towel to clean it up fast and he always makes sure he wipes himself off first and then he has me take the baby......lol......so as you can see men don't do babies.....lol.....until the are older so I wouldn't hold it against him to badly....lol....cause he is a man...but it is good to know that he is always around to be with his little man that is so great.......my biggest concern would be the fact of her being able to tend care to him cause you know she would be the main care taker daddy would be there just to see him and hold and cuddle him....or you could do this too though....what about since you dont want hm with her all day while your sons dad is at work why doesnt he come and get him after work and bring him back to you before he goes to work....that way you took care of him while he was working but when he got home then he would have him and not her the whole time......i wouldn't trust her with not knowing her from adam from eve ya know for all you know she could loose it on him from his crying or what ever ya know?...not trying to worry you I am just a mother and these are things I think of and thats why I am a stay at home mom to my children because I don't trust anyone I dont know with my kids to many things are happening in this world with kids and day cares and baby sitters and so on ya know........but anyways I hope I helped you out some let me know how it goes
darrius mommy - Wednesday, 22 Apr
I dont think you should let him keep him over night. BUT if you do want to go out a little bit for your b-day, have him come to your house and watch him. Its up to you if you want him to have Bev come with him or not but I deff wouldnt be taking Evan out of the house yet unless its for doctors appt. Theres just to many germs that he can be exposed to and you dont want a sick baby!! Plus you yourself is just getting in a routine. When I have my son, I dont plan taking him anywhere other doctors appt until he about a month old.
steffilily - Wednesday, 22 Apr
I was looking up online for situations like you are going through on how to work out visitations for the newborn's father. Here's a link I found that can give you some guidelines. http://www.in.gov/judiciary/rules/parenting/index.html
If you scroll down the page, you will see baby's age and how long visitation should be. Hope this will help you and Steve come to an agreement on Evan's schedule.
I do not think a newborn is ready for overnight visitations yet, especialy a weekend visitation. The first few months of a baby's life is critical for bonding time and getting into routine. Evan will need to know and trust the person taking care of him. Steve should keep coming over to bond with Evan until a bond has been established before Steve takes Evan over to his home. This will also help put you at ease knowing that Steve will learn how to take care of Evan on his own and that Evan is comfortable with him.
Aiona - Wednesday, 22 Apr
I would probably wait. Germ city, man! :) Or if you must let him go, I'd go with Evan, so you can help dad figure out how to do stuff. It's natural for him to be nervous, but I would totally be there for Evan's sake.
reila - Wednesday, 22 Apr
Well, I remember after I gave birth I had no clue how to take care of a newborn baby, Jeff had a bit of a clue since he babysat his friends little ones. But perhaps like you were at the hospital, taking care of a baby is goin to be all new to him. And best way for him to learn is by experience. The smells and spit up that would normally disgust me don't at all. I'm so used to everything now and changing a diapers, preparing my son's diapers and taking care of him became second nature and I'm sure it will for him. Now letting Steve have Evan for a night or so is up to you. If you don't feel comfortable with the idea then go by that instinct. Honestly I'd talk to your pediatrician because they might have a say in the matter if its perfectly okay for your or not.
In my opinion, I think its awesome Steve is trying to help out and he'll turn out to be a fantastic father to your little one. I think after he has his own trial and errors taking care of Evan will become second nature to him too. I think a little guidance and gently helping him how to do things could be needed.
And if he's okay with it and you alright with it I think it would be really good to observe how they handle and treat Evan. Especially because of Bev, I think you really need to see with your eyes how she is going to handle your son and if there are any red flags.
dinahmite425 - Wednesday, 22 Apr
well the baby should not switch housea at all right now,my nephew is 4 months and he has been sick like 3 times to the er because he goes back and forth frommy sister to her boyfriends house to much differences tell him the baby needs to stay with you for a month and it has nothing to do with bev or you being mean but that its for his health!!! tell him he can stay the night with you maybe so he can be with the baby through the night and maybe sleep on the couch!!!
| 21-4-2009 - What to do |  My mood while writing this blog:undecided???? |
Ok, ladies I need some advice on this one. All of you know about my situation with Steve. We have been getting along good for about 2 weeks or so. He has been stepping it up when it comes to Evan, which is all I want. I just want Evan to have his daddy in his life and be there for him. He came to the hospital each day, has been over almost everyday except for yesturday and that was because he worked way to late. So today when he came by after work, he had asked me when I was going to let Evan go to his house for the weekend. He then said he understands that there are some moms who don't want their babies around others untill they are a few weeks older. But then he blew my mind because he remembered my birthday is this weekend and figured I might want to do something for it (that was a shock).
So now I don't know what to tell him. I know all of his friends want to meet Evan, I mean who wouldn't.lol (Sorry a little crazy partial about my boy). Anyways, even though Steve has been coming around he's still not 100% comfortable with even just holding him. He hasn't quite figured out how to burp Evan, changing his diaper is quite a task, spitting up send Steve right to the bowl...I mean he seriuosly get sick. So when he had asked my only response was I don't know, and that was the truth because I don't know when I'm going to be ok with Evan being gone overnight. Plus the fact that with how Steve is still nervous I know it will be Bev watching and taking care of him. That is still bothering me. I know I need to get over it, but I just can't. Not with a newborn baby. If she would be there for help that's one thing, but I already know she's not going to help...she just going to take over. And with her doing that how is Steve ever going to learn on his own.
Here is what I was thinking. I have thought about this for a while, actually I think I've been over thinking it. My thought is to tell him that he can come pick both me and Evan up, goto his house for a day. This way I can see how he is with Evan and if she's there then she's there. Then I'd also be able to see how she is with Evan also.
Please help me out on this one.
7 Comments on What to do
MOMATAVIA23 - Wednesday, 22 Apr
NO I DONT THINK THAT IS A GOOD IDEA RITE NOW HE IS JUS TO SMALL I MEAN NOT EVEN A MONTH OLD I DONT THINK THAT IS A GOOD IDEA Y CAINT HE SPEND THE NITE AT YOUR HOUSE WITH HIM AND LEARN MORE ABOUT HOW TO TAKE CARE OF HIM AND I REALLY WOULD NOT WANT MY BABY AROUND A WOMAN I BARELY GET ALONG WITH
SAHM-with-children - Wednesday, 22 Apr
I think that is a good idea and you could even maybe bring her to your house for a couple of feedings and see what and how she does with him and maybe get to get along with her a little bit ya know even though it will be really hard all the way through ya know it is going to have to happen so that it is a better enviroment for your little man ya know and as for steve the men always have a hard time with babies when they are this small....lol.....even my husband has a very very hard time with our son he wont change his diaper nor is he good at burping him either he stinks at it...lol...and when colby spits up he like starts getting all nervous and all wanting a towel to clean it up fast and he always makes sure he wipes himself off first and then he has me take the baby......lol......so as you can see men don't do babies.....lol.....until the are older so I wouldn't hold it against him to badly....lol....cause he is a man...but it is good to know that he is always around to be with his little man that is so great.......my biggest concern would be the fact of her being able to tend care to him cause you know she would be the main care taker daddy would be there just to see him and hold and cuddle him....or you could do this too though....what about since you dont want hm with her all day while your sons dad is at work why doesnt he come and get him after work and bring him back to you before he goes to work....that way you took care of him while he was working but when he got home then he would have him and not her the whole time......i wouldn't trust her with not knowing her from adam from eve ya know for all you know she could loose it on him from his crying or what ever ya know?...not trying to worry you I am just a mother and these are things I think of and thats why I am a stay at home mom to my children because I don't trust anyone I dont know with my kids to many things are happening in this world with kids and day cares and baby sitters and so on ya know........but anyways I hope I helped you out some let me know how it goes
darrius mommy - Wednesday, 22 Apr
I dont think you should let him keep him over night. BUT if you do want to go out a little bit for your b-day, have him come to your house and watch him. Its up to you if you want him to have Bev come with him or not but I deff wouldnt be taking Evan out of the house yet unless its for doctors appt. Theres just to many germs that he can be exposed to and you dont want a sick baby!! Plus you yourself is just getting in a routine. When I have my son, I dont plan taking him anywhere other doctors appt until he about a month old.
steffilily - Wednesday, 22 Apr
I was looking up online for situations like you are going through on how to work out visitations for the newborn's father. Here's a link I found that can give you some guidelines. http://www.in.gov/judiciary/rules/parenting/index.html
If you scroll down the page, you will see baby's age and how long visitation should be. Hope this will help you and Steve come to an agreement on Evan's schedule.
I do not think a newborn is ready for overnight visitations yet, especialy a weekend visitation. The first few months of a baby's life is critical for bonding time and getting into routine. Evan will need to know and trust the person taking care of him. Steve should keep coming over to bond with Evan until a bond has been established before Steve takes Evan over to his home. This will also help put you at ease knowing that Steve will learn how to take care of Evan on his own and that Evan is comfortable with him.
Aiona - Wednesday, 22 Apr
I would probably wait. Germ city, man! :) Or if you must let him go, I'd go with Evan, so you can help dad figure out how to do stuff. It's natural for him to be nervous, but I would totally be there for Evan's sake.
reila - Wednesday, 22 Apr
Well, I remember after I gave birth I had no clue how to take care of a newborn baby, Jeff had a bit of a clue since he babysat his friends little ones. But perhaps like you were at the hospital, taking care of a baby is goin to be all new to him. And best way for him to learn is by experience. The smells and spit up that would normally disgust me don't at all. I'm so used to everything now and changing a diapers, preparing my son's diapers and taking care of him became second nature and I'm sure it will for him. Now letting Steve have Evan for a night or so is up to you. If you don't feel comfortable with the idea then go by that instinct. Honestly I'd talk to your pediatrician because they might have a say in the matter if its perfectly okay for your or not.
In my opinion, I think its awesome Steve is trying to help out and he'll turn out to be a fantastic father to your little one. I think after he has his own trial and errors taking care of Evan will become second nature to him too. I think a little guidance and gently helping him how to do things could be needed.
And if he's okay with it and you alright with it I think it would be really good to observe how they handle and treat Evan. Especially because of Bev, I think you really need to see with your eyes how she is going to handle your son and if there are any red flags.
dinahmite425 - Wednesday, 22 Apr
well the baby should not switch housea at all right now,my nephew is 4 months and he has been sick like 3 times to the er because he goes back and forth frommy sister to her boyfriends house to much differences tell him the baby needs to stay with you for a month and it has nothing to do with bev or you being mean but that its for his health!!! tell him he can stay the night with you maybe so he can be with the baby through the night and maybe sleep on the couch!!!
Photos
Children
Latest blogs
02-11-2009 - 6 1/2 months later
05-9-2009 - It's been a while
04-7-2009 - Trying to do the right thing
01-7-2009 - Update on Little Man
29-6-2009 - Here we go again
26-6-2009 - Baby food---confusing
16-6-2009 - Weekly update
07-6-2009 - Stupid Ex
26-5-2009 - Amused to some degree
21-5-2009 - Our first ER visit
17-5-2009 - Gettin into our Little routine
08-5-2009 - Do I go with my Gutt Instinct????
30-4-2009 - 2 weeks of mommyhood
29-4-2009 - Update on my friend
27-4-2009 - Sad day for my friend
26-4-2009 - Happy B-day to Me
25-4-2009 - Upset
21-4-2009 - What to do
20-4-2009 - An entirely new life
18-4-2009 - Oh So Happy
13-4-2009 - UPDATE...BEING INDUCED
12-4-2009 - Lost my plug
11-4-2009 - Hoppy Easter
11-4-2009 - Cross them fingers
06-4-2009 - Here's my update for today
06-4-2009 - 39 Week appointment
03-4-2009 - Something's Happening
01-4-2009 - done being prego and frustrated
30-3-2009 - Trying not to worry
30-3-2009 - Bored out of my mind
26-3-2009 - Pain in my a@@!!!!
24-3-2009 - New Issue...making me very angry
23-3-2009 - 37 week doctors appointment
22-3-2009 - BELLY IS IN THE WAY
18-3-2009 - My day from hell...will it ever get better????
16-3-2009 - 36 week update
11-3-2009 - Medicaid and these State Workers
09-3-2009 - 36 days and counting
07-3-2009 - dog issues
06-3-2009 - HEARTBURN!!!!!!!
28-2-2009 - Am I over reacting????
27-2-2009 - Over this weekend already
25-2-2009 - UNCOMFORTABLE
24-2-2009 - Why people are just inconsiderate
23-2-2009 - 33 week update..about my docotor
21-2-2009 - Feeling like a PIG!!!!!
20-2-2009 - Bed Rest....Yea right
17-2-2009 - WOW communication
16-2-2009 - Woo Hoo
16-2-2009 - 4n hours on 4 hours off
11-2-2009 - PISSED OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!
11-2-2009 - Stepping up
10-2-2009 - Still unanswerd questions????
10-2-2009 - Isn't it a bit funny
09-2-2009 - Discomfort
07-2-2009 - Just Tired & Hurting
30-1-2009 - How dare he......
26-1-2009 - Just plain irritated
22-1-2009 - Baby's daddy has new girlfriend
02-11-2009 - 6 1/2 months later
05-9-2009 - It's been a while
04-7-2009 - Trying to do the right thing
01-7-2009 - Update on Little Man
29-6-2009 - Here we go again
26-6-2009 - Baby food---confusing
16-6-2009 - Weekly update
07-6-2009 - Stupid Ex
26-5-2009 - Amused to some degree
21-5-2009 - Our first ER visit
17-5-2009 - Gettin into our Little routine
08-5-2009 - Do I go with my Gutt Instinct????
30-4-2009 - 2 weeks of mommyhood
29-4-2009 - Update on my friend
27-4-2009 - Sad day for my friend
26-4-2009 - Happy B-day to Me
25-4-2009 - Upset
21-4-2009 - What to do
20-4-2009 - An entirely new life
18-4-2009 - Oh So Happy
13-4-2009 - UPDATE...BEING INDUCED
12-4-2009 - Lost my plug
11-4-2009 - Hoppy Easter
11-4-2009 - Cross them fingers
06-4-2009 - Here's my update for today
06-4-2009 - 39 Week appointment
03-4-2009 - Something's Happening
01-4-2009 - done being prego and frustrated
30-3-2009 - Trying not to worry
30-3-2009 - Bored out of my mind
26-3-2009 - Pain in my a@@!!!!
24-3-2009 - New Issue...making me very angry
23-3-2009 - 37 week doctors appointment
22-3-2009 - BELLY IS IN THE WAY
18-3-2009 - My day from hell...will it ever get better????
16-3-2009 - 36 week update
11-3-2009 - Medicaid and these State Workers
09-3-2009 - 36 days and counting
07-3-2009 - dog issues
06-3-2009 - HEARTBURN!!!!!!!
28-2-2009 - Am I over reacting????
27-2-2009 - Over this weekend already
25-2-2009 - UNCOMFORTABLE
24-2-2009 - Why people are just inconsiderate
23-2-2009 - 33 week update..about my docotor
21-2-2009 - Feeling like a PIG!!!!!
20-2-2009 - Bed Rest....Yea right
17-2-2009 - WOW communication
16-2-2009 - Woo Hoo
16-2-2009 - 4n hours on 4 hours off
11-2-2009 - PISSED OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!
11-2-2009 - Stepping up
10-2-2009 - Still unanswerd questions????
10-2-2009 - Isn't it a bit funny
09-2-2009 - Discomfort
07-2-2009 - Just Tired & Hurting
30-1-2009 - How dare he......
26-1-2009 - Just plain irritated
22-1-2009 - Baby's daddy has new girlfriend
Agenda