27-4-2009 - Sad day for my friend

My mood while writing this blog: Upset and irritated at the same time

Hi ladies. This is sad story I'm about to tell you, but it's also irritating at the same time.

First a little background to keep everyone clear on the names. The girl Tammy that I grew up nextdoor to married my cousin Eric about 13 years or so ago. Tammy is her mothers daughter completely thru and thru, it's actually scarry how much she's like her mom (Carolyn). I have known Tammy for my entire life...35 years.

Anyways today around 2:30ish I get a call from Eric asking me to get ahold of my sister and brother in law because Tammy was going to the ER. Well once he said that I knew something wasn't right because she never goes to the hospital,doctors, never....neither did her mom that's where she gets it from. So I asked him what was going on and he said her insides were falling out. I called my sister and brother in law like Eric had asked and really didn't think anything more about it, I just went on with my day. Well around 4ish my brother in law call me to say...Tammy just delivered a full term stillborn baby. At first I was completely shocked but then I got so mad once he started explaining what happen.

Both Tammy and Eric both insists they didn't know she was pregnant, let alone 9 moths pregnant. (I can't wrap my mind around how she didn't know...that is totally mind blowing to me). Thursday morning she woke up and her water broke...she thought she had pee'd herself. (Now again this is what I can't understand, unless she pee's alot normally I'm pretty sure she shoukd have raised an eyebrow on that one. Well from what she and Eric both say about an hour later she started having "cramps". They weren't cramps....she was in full on labor. Sometime between thursday afternoon and friday morning the baby started to desend down on it's own and once the head came out one of it's shoulders got stuck.Well during this time the baby had passed on, her uterus had developed an infection that caused the baby to die. Well this infection that she had in her uterus has spread though to her kidneys.....now she is in the intnsive care unit because her kidey's have shut down. Hopefully the doctors have caught this in time not to spread to any of her other organs.

Terrible thing, they had her deliver completely once she got to the hospital. Then they found out it was a girl...they named her Brittney Nicole. Length and weight they weren't able to get because of the baby bring in the infection for this amout of days..... They have to file for a death certificate, plan a funeral and burrial. All while she is in the intensive care unit.

So since basically Thursday she has been in labor and never went to the hospital. What I can't understand is a couple of things. Like how she didn't know???? How Eric didn't kow???? How someone can be in that much pain for this many days and not think anything of it.???? How you never felt anytype of movement what so ever???? How doesn't a husband notice changes in his wives body. there are certain physical things that happen to our bodies that on happen when were pregnant....so for him not to notice any type of change...I don 't understand.

Now family amd friends are all concerned about Tammy and have almost forgotten about this little baby girl that didn't ask to be made. Oh and now Eric is a complete basket case because he thinks it's his fault for not making her go to the hospital.....which I can sorta agree with that. This whole thing could have avoided if she would have gone to the hospital on thursady......no better yet sometime over the past 9 months.

So I'm sad for the both of them, but yet I'm angry with them both also. I look at my little man and can't remember one time during the entire pregancy "not knowing"or "not feeling" anything. I'm just frustrated about all of this,,,,sorry if I've gone on and on.