01-7-2009 - Update on Little Man

My mood while writing this blog: ok

Thanks to those of you who commented on my last blog. I do want too clear something up. From all the blogs I have posted about Steve and his girlfriend Bev concerning Evan, I have never said he doesn't love him. I have a problem with Steve doing things on his own without telling or asking me. My other problem is being second guessed bye the both of them. And the last thing is I know Steve isn't trying to harm Evan in anyway health wise that is. I don't agree with either of them "playing house" with Evan. I can't stand that when it comes to Evan, Steve listens to every other person in his life except me. And when I say that, this is the change that he goes thru....first it's Bev, then his mom, then his friends, then he'll think about what they all say and then finally me. It's NOT a jealously thing at all by no means. I'm Evan's mother noone else, so when he has him whether it be for a few hours or over a weekend, he should do things like me. I get that he his is his father and he needs to figure it out on his own. But when it comes to things like formula and diapers, he needs to use what I use..not what someone else tells him to use. When Steve picks him up and he's fine and then he comes back with something wrong, like breathing, sneezing, caughing,and finally last but not least my personal favorite colic I have a problem with that. So it's not jealousy, it's me being a mom. I don't want everyone to think that Steve doesn't love Evan....I just don't like being overruled when it comes to him.

So monday morning my dad's nurse came out to do his normal weekly visit and I asked her to listen to Evan after I was finished giving him his breathing treatment, so she did. she used to be a pedi's nurse so I figured she should know if sounds ok. When she was done listening she said I should continue doing the treatments on him because it did sound a little different. What that means I have no clue. So I did gave him 4 more treatments monday on into tuesday. Yesturday he woke up breathing better....no more shallow breath sounds, but still a tiny raddleing. From what it sounds like now verses when he came home it's a 100% better, thank god. I can deal with the sneezing and runny nose. He stopped caughing so I feel better about that. Little man is doing better but as of yesturday his new thing is not to want to eat....I don't know what this is about. He won't take his bottle, no food, no juice, he will take a water bottle. So I'm gonna see how this morning goes.

As for what I'm going to do about him going to Steve's....I don't know. I am very torn about this. On one hand I want to say no, but then on the other hand I truely can't stop him from seeing his dad. We haven't been in front of a judge yet for friend of the court, he's not paying child support (again because his friends told him not too), there is no set visitation. I don't like him going for the weekends because Bev is there. I've told Steve many many times he can come here anytime he wants to see Evan but he won't. If he can't come pick him up and take him there he just won't come visit at all, period end of discission. I've even tried getting him to meet us at the park, come bye his house to he could see him, but he always says no because he's either tired or not home and my favorite...no because Bev's here. So I have tried to give him plenty of options. But if it involves me in anyways he doesn't want to see his kid....I have a problem with that. I am never going to say Steve you can't see Evan, I will never deny him that right or that relationship. But as of right now I think Evan should not go. But when I say that to Steve then I'm just being a bitch and how it's not fair too him. So as you can tell I have I big issue to deal with.