14-10-2008 - sick and tired of the bs

My mood while writing this blog: ok

Hey ladys! I really need to vent, these last few weeks have been so hard on me.I feel physically and emotionally drained.I have been going to school monday through thursday untill 3:30 for medical assistant.Its great but by time i get home I dont even have the energy to do anything else and I end up falling asleep so early and cant even stay up to spend time with my boyfriend.My boyfriend and I decided to move back into my mothers house about a month ago. It was going great until a week ago.My moms boyfriend that lived with her decided to pack his stuff and leave me mother because he said he cant live in the circus house anymore.He said he cant deal with the fact that im pregnant(and mind u he has never said more then 2 words to me, he sits in the spare bedroom an(d plays video games all night and ignores my mom and not to mention all he does is drink).I was really upset for my mom that this jerk left her and I feel like its my fault.Im glad there not together tho because he just didnt except the fact that she had a daughter and he didnt even give her any attention.So now its just my mother,boyfriend, and me.I feel for my mother because I know she doesnt want to be alone and it hurts me to see her so upset, but im so thankful she puts me first.Then sunday night my boyfriends step sister thats just a trouble maker messaged me and had the nerve to tell me that my boyfriend is having another baby with someone else.Ill fill u in on the oast a bit so its more understanding in feb my boyfriend and me split up he left me for this skanky girl who honestly has no life.she has a on again off again husband at the time but they werent on talking terms but would randomly get back together she already had 2 children didnt want to work and lived a trashy life i must say.she got her 2 kids taken away from her and she is always with different men although shes married. So anyways we split up in febuary he lived with this women and totally abandoned me=/So not even a month later march 19th he got ahold of me and told me he made such a big mistake and blah blah blah and of coarse the douche bag I am i took him back and a month later april 20th I found out i was pregnant.I forgave way to easily which im embaressed i let myself take him back after leaving me for this women and putting me through emotional hell.I found out like a week after i found out i was pregnant by my boyfriends step sister that actually is best friends with this girl that she was pregnant aswell. She had told my bf's sister that it wasnt dj's(my boyfriend) and it was her husbands bc they got back together days after dj and her were done and her first day of her last menstral cycle was march 8th and she got pregnant on the 20th of march.those were her exact words bc my bf's step sister sent me the message she sent her.so my worrys subsided and now on sunday i got a message from nicole(dj's step sister) that I never even talk to she just likes to say ignorant things to me everytime we speak so i just like to stay away from this girl. and she sends me a text saying ya jenn went to the doctors on friday and they changed her due date to the beginning of december so that means djs the dad. my heart just dropped and the tears started flowing i was so upset to the point were i was cramping in my stomach. my boyfriend said he knows its not his he wasnt dumb and did use a condom with her, its hard enough thinking about this i just want us to get over this and now its coming back to haunt me.now why would dj's step sister text me this? it has nothing to do with me why wouldnt the girl thats actually pregnant get ahold of dj shes a grown women(25 years old) she should know better.She's 7months pregnant why would they even change her due date this far along? Iv never heard of that.her and her husband got a divorce so my bf thinks she justs wants someone to take care of tshhe kid.i feel so upset and restless over this it has been on my mind for the last 2 days. i feel like there trying to ruin me.idk what to do or think, why would it take u 7 months to change ur mind who the daddy of ur child is? idk what to do i need some feedback this whole situation embarrassing and upsetting to me.im just going to take everything day by day. i just want to focus on konnor and not let these girls get a rise out of me and ruin my happyness.I still have to work on konnors nursery work on centerpieces for my shower wiche is november 2nd=) then my boyfriend and i even get to start birthing classes november 3rd the day after my shower. I have so much to look forward to but im letting this women ruin my life.my boyfriend and me just want to put what he did in the past and we have grown from the whole situation and appreciate one another more and now i have to hear this i cant even think straight about it.hopefully someone has some words to help me get through this time.im sorry if the story is so confusing.