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02-3-2010 - ugh. so sick of this.

My mood while writing this blog: Ok

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so basically, even tho i'm still 12 lbs less now than before i was pregnant, i still feel totally disgusting. yeah, i only look like im 4 or 5 months along but apparently that doesn't matter. my fiance/baby daddy wants absolutely nothing to do with me. i mean nothing. i'll be lucky if i get a peck on the lips from him once or twice a day. i try so hard to make sure he still loves me but i'm not sure. the last time he wasn't affectionate, i caught him cheating on me [2 months ago - when i was 7 months pregnant]. i can't help feeling like it's something i'm doing wrong. i do everything i can to try to make him happy. i'm having my csection in a couple weeks and i'm still busting my ass at work while he hangs out with his friends cuz he got fired a couple weeks ago. i'm only working part time so i'm trying to make ends meet enough to keep our house and keep all the bills up. i'm doing everything i can and i don't feel like i get any appreciation from him at all. yeah, he tells me he loves me but i don't feel like he means it one bit. i feel like i'm just getting played. i just would appreciate some reassurance and understanding from him. like, would it kill him to even pretend to care? he gets mad because i can't come to him with my problems then just gets upset because i start crying and he never tries to understand where i'm coming from. he just always thinks he's right and i'm hormonal. maybe that's it. i dont know but could i at least get a little support from him? ugh.then whenever he starts feeling bad whenever i start bringing things up to try to figure out what the problem is, he starts crying and turns it all around on me. i just dont know what to do anymore...

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3 Comments on ugh. so sick of this.


lpnkirby - Wednesday, 3 Mar
He cheated on you and while you're pregnant? ? What a dirty dog! I'm so sorry you're going through this but it ALL sounds like emotional manipulation to me and I believe your instincts are saying that he is continuing with the cheating. I've never known a woman to be wrong when she has said that she just feels like he could be. I think you need to surround yourself with supportive friends, have a good cry, and then think about what you want to do for you and your special baby. No matter what, it can't be allowed to continue like this. It's not healthy for any of you!

phonics - Tuesday, 2 Mar
Wow he cheated on you while pregnant? I am sorry, but I would not be over it that quick. That is just down right dirty. Just because you might be ormonal does not mean that you do not make sense. You are busting your behind to support not only yourself, but him as well and he needs to show some appreciation, effection, and stop being around his friends so much. It seems like he might feel as if he is losing his independance. He just might need a good t alking to. Men do not think like us so he really might not understand how had all of this is on you. Maybe if you could sit him down and talk to him about all of your feelings without yelling or blaming he might listen. Or maybe a letter. Write down all of your thoughts first to get an idea of what to say and how to say it. I wish you the best.

mommy2littlegirls - Tuesday, 2 Mar
I am so sorry that you are going through this. Have you sat him down and talked to him about how you feel? I hope everything works out for you, i dont know what i would do without my husband support and affection, that would be terrible. Try talking to him if not show him that you are serious and you are not playing any games, especially since you have a special little one on the way.