Write a new blog
| 12-6-2008 - being pregnant made me crazy |
My mood while writing this blog: stressed |
ok so i dont know if it's just being pregnant that's making me worried/stressed or whatever but i have a feeling that my finace's not being honest with me. i mean, whenever i go into where he works he talks to all these girls and it makes me wonder what's really going on when i'm at home. i have thoughts like i know being 6 months pregnant makes me look totally disgusting so i wonder if he's getting attention else where. i dont know why but i feel jealous of every single girl he talks to...like he'd rather talk to them than me. i'm not saying i don't want him to have any friends that are girls or anything..actually that's prolly not true cuz if he didn't i wouldn't be writing this. but i wish i didn't think the things i do. when he's at home i sit in front of the mirror and scrutinize every part of my body looking at what i need to change to make him love and want me more. lately, i've been obsessing over it. i get stressed out over it and get over-analytical and start crying because i don't know what to do or say to make him love me again. but like i said before, i don't know if this is for real or if it's just like, hormones but it feels like it's real. like it's a real thing that's affecting me. i don't know who to talk to about it because i don't want people to think i'm crazy but i've been putting thought into it myself and i wondered if there's such thing as like, pre-partum depression. i mean, there's post-partum depression for women after they have the baby and get down and stuff. i just hate how i've been freaking out whenever he does anything. today when he got home from work, he had a text message from his sister and called her to talk and turned the tv on to watch the basketball game and i flipped a nut and told him it seemed like he puts everyone and everything before me and it makes me feel like i'm nothing. i'd tell him how i feel about everything but i don't want him to think i'm completely psycho. it's so confusing and i don't want to be like this at all. i feel like it's just a matter of time before he comes home and says something like 'i know this is a bad time but i found somebody else..hope you and the baby have a good life' or something. i'm scared i'm the only one who feels this way and it freaks me out. ugh am i crazy?
Comments on being pregnant made me crazy