15-10-2008 - Nervous breakdown.....

My mood while writing this blog: blah.

So yesterday i had a nervous breakdown.....and i cant help but laugh at it now.

I live with My Fiance and his mom and dad....in his parents house...[i moved in december of 07 when things werent going so well with my family].
Anyways....his mom and dad both work from 4 in the morning until about 4:30 in the afternoon...
And my fiance works 6am-4pm...so im pretty much alone all day, which KILLS me because i get so bored.....so i spend all day cleaning up the house for his parents and doing laundry and scrapbooking a book that i bought for the baby...they have a dog here[hes a 130lb. boxer] and he barks at anyone who walks by the house, which people walk by all the time because we live on the main road, so he aggravates me and im always yelling at him...so yeah im pretty bored all day.

When Shayne[fiance] gets home, he's always in kind of a bitchy mood and just wants to eat and watch tv.
BUT....he doesnt say hi to me or anything when he walks in.[its a routine....shoes off, microwave on, tv turned up loud, then nothing.every day....]
For some odd reason, everything was aggravating me yesterday.....let me list them...lol.
1- The dog was annoying the shit out of me.
2-Shayne didnt acknowledge me at all.
3-Shayne was chewing with his mouth open[bugs the shit out of me...cant stand it]
4-His dad is anal retentive and is always bitching.
5-there was like NOTHING off of our registry and the shower is in 2 weeks.
6-Shaynes brother called and wanted him to help him bring in some furniture to his apartment which of course meant shayne would be leaving for about 3 more hours....all i wanted to do when spend time with him.

so yeah all that just added up and i freaked out and ran upstairs and just cried for like an hour straight.....
and his mom[being the way she is] noticed i didnt look too happy when i ran upstairs so she came up about 5 minutes after i ran up there and tried to calm me down but i just told her i was tired and needed to sleep.So she sent shayne up to talk to me and he was sorta leaning over me[i had my face buried into the pillow so i wasnt looking at him] and i sorta swatted and accidentally hit him in the face.....so he left me alone and ran downstairs.....i felt so bad but i just didnt wanna move so i stayed up there crying....
It seemed like everytime i would stop crying my eyes would just start back up again and then i just kept getting more frustrated....

i wanted to stop crying but i couldnt....i was so mad lol.

Then i woke up after shayne had left to help his brother..it was like 7pm. His mom made me come down to eat dinner....and then i just waited for shayne to get home....which was around 9pm....

i couldnt beleive it...shayne stopped at the store on the way home and bought me flowers....lol.....
&& he apologized for not acknowledgeing me......then we went to bed......

I dont know i figured id just vent that all out because i kept laughing about it all morning....realizing how funny emotions can be sometimes.....