kt08dec88's I-am-pregnantblog

kt08dec88
	Age: 19 Country: USA Province/region: Midwest City: St. Louis Partner: Mike Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: Student
	Online: More than 3 months ago Last updated: Nothing added yet. Member since: 1380 days
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08-10-2008 - sad..worried..idk

My mood while writing this blog:
blah

I dont know if its just me...or pregnancy.. .or what...but im so tired of feeling/thinking the way i do. It made me start thinking it because i feel just stuck in my life right now...thats the best way to describe it... Financially... emotionally, i dont know. With mike i feel like we are just exsisting and not living...cant explainit... i just feel like he just comes home and its the same every day... nothing ever new... id ont know. Its really hard to explain... i feel like im getting annoyed with him more often, and him with me. I wish sometimes he would treat me how other people are treated while they are pregnant..and i should know, that that just isnt his personality...he isnt the guy be really sweet all teh time... not that he is mean either, but i dunno, sometimes its like i get teased cuz hell just hold me and rub my belly...and other times, if i didnt ask, he wouldnt even seem to agnologe me... Then on top of all this... ihave all these feeling in my head and worries about money... I feel horrible for feeling this way, cuz i kno ive been given so much, but some times when youve been given alot you take it for granted... i own my house and my car, but im just worried that when i have no money left what am i going to do... right now i only have enough to pay real estate tax at the end of the year, and to go to beauty school... Then on top of all that i have to think about going to school at night while mike watches the baby, and all through beauty school hes gunna have to support me, or im gunna have to get a job during thday, but then i would have to pay for childcare... there is just so much, and i wish it could just be easier... even tho i dont have two big bills that most people have... other things do add up...especially when you have no money coming in... I just get worried all the time about it. I dont know what im going to do, and i dont think mike really has any idea about what its gunna be like if he has to support me and the baby all by himself for a while... I really dont. If i could go back and change some things, i definatly would do it a little different... I would have waited to get pregnant, like got on birth control at least until i could have some health insurance...because these doctors visits, plus dietrician visits, and the hospital stay, are gunna be crazy,... and no theres nothing i can do about them... Im just so upset because i dont know what to do... I just wish i could forget about everything and make it all go away , but i cant... and i hate crying, but sometimes i wish i could just cry all night when i want to and be just fine with it...just go lay in my room and cry al night,... idk im gunna go...ttyl

EDIT: 10/14/08

Its funny that i just wrote this the other day...and now i feel crazy for writing it... I really think pregnancy does a toll on your mind... cuz when i wrote this, what i was writing was exactly how i was feeling at the time... Now i feel fine...lol. Its funny to me. I still have the financial worries... but i reallly dont worry about me and mike all that much... but when i do, its like i imagine the worst. Financially tho...right now i am trying to get approved for medicaid...which i have been told that i wouldnt be able to get for a while now...but the doc convinced me to try.. so i did... and i should find out soon if i get it... the lady sounded pretty positive that i would... So i hope shes right cuz i would really be sad if not... It will just take a huge load off my shoulders if i got it.

3 Comments on sad..worried..idk

ladysaphira - Thursday, 9 Oct
Hey gurl, its all going to be ok, you just wait and see. Mike may just need some time to adjust to the whole idea that his son is going to be here in about a month. For the longest time my fiance, Tommy, was acting very weird around me. It was like he was a whole different person, but as time has gone on he is getting more into the idea of being a daddy. He has just now started to take interest in the baby. He will sometime rub my tummy, but most of the time he just sits and listens to me talk about how the baby was moving and stuff like that. As for the money issue, I came from money, my dad was a doctor so we always had money, but I never really felt whole. I felt like something was missing, then I met Tommy and when we met he was working for the state, as a cop, then he lost his job. When he lost his job, he was worrying all the time about things, but like I told him, I have faith that everything will work out in the end. 4 months later he now works for Wal-Mart down here and we are doing fine, not the greatest, but we have money to pay our bills on time and still have a little left over to buy things for baby in small amounts. My strategy is to put a little bit of his pay-checks away into a savings box here at the house and that way if we need something and he doesn't get paid that week, we have a little cash to play with. Maybe you might think of doing something like that, if you can. Other than that just give it time, and try to relax, things will work out in the end.

EricandCalebsMommy - Thursday, 9 Oct
Hi there! I've been reading a lot of posts like this lately, so try to take some solace in the fact that you are not alone in the way you're feeling ~ there are plenty of older, married women who are battling the same issues, so even though you sometimes feel as though it would have been better to wait, it may not have made all the difference! I am sure things seem very scary right now since you still need to finish up school, etc., but it will be okay ~ wonderful actually ~ and God does not give us more than we can handle. I don't know if you're a faithful person (I became more faithful when I became pregnant than I ever was before), but when I start to get nervous, I just remember to thank God for the miracle that he has blessed us with, and I say a little prayer for all the women and families who are struggling to experience the same miracle. I try to remember that there are so many people out there who would probably give everything away just to be where we are today. Just think, in 47 days or less, you will get to lay eyes on, and cradle in your arms, the most amazing and wonderful thing that has ever happened to you ~ can you even imagine that?!?! Try to keep your chin up ~ it's going to be better than good ~ have faith!! :)

munchkinsmommie - Thursday, 9 Oct
Have you checked into assistance programs to cover your medical bills. I used to help patients get on state programs to cover hospital bills. I know how most states and hospital works. I can help if you need it. All your feelings sound normal. I got easily ticked off at my husband during pregnancy. As mommies we worry. I worry all the time about money issues. My husband always tells not to worry so much because things will work out. It has always worked out. If you need somone vent to or need any help. I am here. Hang in there.

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