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| 10-2-2010 - does it make me a horrible person? |
My mood while writing this blog: kinda sad... |
so my bf's sister just had her baby today... she was due two weeks before me on my last pregnancy... so if i wouldn't have had the mc i would be having my baby in a couple weeks here... well they expect me to go see the baby... i don't want to... on my very first pregnancy my own sister was due two weeks before me and when she had her baby i didn't see him right away, and when i did i could hold him and after that first night of seeing him i bawled because it hurt so bad. and i know if i go see this baby it or one of her other children will be forced on me to watch or hold... so i told my bf that i wasn't going to go see the baby or that i didn't want to. i'm not keeping him from seeing his nephew its just that i won't be able to handle it. so does that make me a horrible person??? the sister of his that had the baby has had a mc before and from what i am told she would get mad when the people who were due around the time she was would talk baby stuff around her... so what makes it okay for her to do it to me? at thanksgiving she started talking about her baby with me... and i just looked at my bf and asked him if we could go... luckily he was ok with it and knew what i was going through. i just know that his sisters will look down on me cause i don't want anything to do with this kid at this time....
1 Comments on does it make me a horrible person?lil.pigz -
Wednesday, 10 Feb I went through the same thing. My nephew is 6 now, exactly the same age as one of my babies would be, but I m/c at 3 months. A constant reminder of a baby I don't have. I didn't see him until he was almost 6 months old. I was so pissed at her for announcing to my kids "yay, you are all going to be cousins again, I am pregnant!" This 2 weeks after I lost mine. No, you arent a horrible person for avoiding such an emotional situation. Any reasonable person would understand and see it's not a personal thing against them or the baby.