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16 Comments on Godparents
mama25 - Monday, 22 Dec
HEY GURL, WELL LISTEN FOR MY SON, HE HAS 1 GODMOTHER AND THATS MY MOM'S BFF. SHE ALSO OVERSEES ALL OF THE LEGAL PAPERWORK FOR ME AND MY BROTHER AND SISTER IF SOMETHING SHALL HAPPEN TO MY MOM. AS FAR AS HIS GODFATHER (R.I.P). HE IS NO LONGER HERE BUT HE WAS JUST LABELED THE GODFATHER BECAUSE HIM AND I WERE BFF AND HE WANTED TO TAKE MY SON PLACES WITH HIM.
I LOOK AT THE YOUNGER GODPARENTS AS JUST DOING THE THINGS THAT YOU MIGHT NO BE ABLE TO DO WITH THE KIDS(I.E. TAKE THEM TO FUN PLACES AND JUST SPEND TIME WITH THEM).
TO MAKE THIS SHORT, I THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE YOUR BFF BE A GODMOTHER JUST SO SHE WUDNT FEEL LEFT OUT AND JUST HAVE HER THERE TO TAKE YOUR DAUGHTER FOR OUTTINGS AND THEN HAVE A MORE RESPONSIBLE PERSON AS HER LEGAL GODMOTHER TO CARE FOR HER IF SUMTHING HAPPENS.
INSTEAD OF MAKING MY BFF MY KIDS GODMOTHER I JUST HAVE THEM SEE HER AS THEIR AUNTIE (TEE-TEE). YOU CAN DO IT THAT WAY WITH YOUR BFF TOO.
phoebejane - Monday, 22 Dec
Godparents are only part of the catholic religion and have no legal guardianship powers whatsoever. The "idea" in the eyes of the church is that the god parents would look after the baby if anything was to happen to you but nobody actually takes this seriously. Not even the priests :) You can be guaranteed your bff does not expect you to raise her baby should anything happen to her.
pregnant mommy - Saturday, 20 Dec
i am not catholic, and i'm really i'm not really religious at all, but my daughter has godparents. we didn't pick them to be her godparents so that in the event that something happened to us she would go to them. we picked them simply because they are our two closest friends in the whole world and we have absolutely no relation to them but we wanted a way to make them feel like they were accepted as family to us. we just wanted them to feel special and know that we love them and we want them to be a part of our child's life. thats all! i feel that it's your child and your life and you should feel free to do as you please about topics like this.
aloha.ma - Friday, 19 Dec
I just had a legal class and this subject was brought up. Really it has to do with a will. If you have no one stated on your will to care for your child, the court will automaticall look at both sides of grandparents (whom is most able to care for the child) , then your siblings. Really the God parent "thing" legally would have to be in your will. You can "say" your bff is your baby's god parent but in a will state that baby will go with .......If that makes sense. Also from experience my SIL had asked if I would be her 2 babies godmom because she was getting her will done. I, to make a long story short, said no only because I already had 1 and was trying on #2 and my hubby is overseas so it would be too much for me. So she wrote in her will they would go to her hubby's parents. So just know the court will look at blood first and capability of care. UNLESS you state different in your will. Hope this helps.
devonp - Friday, 19 Dec
We are catholic and god parents are to make sure the child is going to church and following god and such but they do not have to be the ones who care for the child if you die some do and some do not our sons god parents happen to be the people we would want to take care of him but not because they are his god parents but because they are great parents to their kids. Also being catholic godparents have to be in good standings with the church but I know so people just say that this or that person is the god parent and thats fine but if its not done in church then really they are not god parents. Its like my best friend has her son call me aunt and I am not her sister so I am not his aunt I will not do that to my son his aunts and uncles are going to be really aunts or uncles and god parents are done in church but to each their own I grew up with "fake" aunts and uncles and "godparent"
QUiNCY.KiERRE MOMMY - Friday, 19 Dec
Your mom is right about the responsbility thing, if you were to die the godparent will take care of the child ONLY if there is no immediate family around, such as (your parents, siblings,counsins,etc.) Therefore she can be the godparent of Kaydence without having to take on that responsibility.
happyinvention - Friday, 19 Dec
just have a seperate legal document stating who should get custody of the baby should you and dorione pass- that way your friend can still be the godmother.
i plan on being immortal- so i don't have to worry about these things ;)
katimae - Friday, 19 Dec
i'm having the same issues, I would go ahead and call her the goddmother just to keep the peace, but when it comes down to it, let your sibling or whoever you want to take care of her know that in the event of your death, you want them to have kaydence. My mother for some reason thinks that when I die, she will automatically get my kids, and sadly I don't want her to have them! I hate the way she's raising my brother and my grandparents raised me, so my bff will get ryder and kelly. She wants them, I've already spoken to her about it and I plan to make my wishes clear in some sort of legal document so noone can argue after im dead. Good luck, you can't try not to hurt feelings, just do what's best for kaydence.
sheisaqueen - Friday, 19 Dec
I totaly understand! I think you should be very careful who you choose. It sounds like your best friend has alot going on herself so I can understand. But do you think she would raise your child how you want her to be raised. Just becasue she is your friend doesn't mean she has the same values as you.
When allowing your family to be the God parents of your child that means the entire family may feel like they have a part in it. You should sit down with your sibling and be very clear as to what you want for Kaydence and what you do not want. I mean get down to the nitty gritty.
One of my best friends thought that she would be the god parent of Zechorien and even though I love her, she would not be my choice for that. You have to step back and look at the whole picture. But Im sure that you will make the best decision that you can. Pray about it and allow God to lead your decision. It's funny I have become more comfortable with talking about death now that I have a son growing in me. I guess it's because Im understanding the true meaning, value, and love of life.
KarenBG - Friday, 19 Dec
I think you could make her the godparent, and be sure to draw up a will that designates who would care for the baby in the event of a death (scary as that is to think about).
catesmommy - Friday, 19 Dec
We have had similar issues. For us a Godparent is very important. I think the origin of God parents is that in the event that something happens to the parents the God parents would look out for the spiritual upbringing of the child and even take care of them if necessary. However, we do not all live in villages and as I hope to have a number of children certainly do not expect for them to be all split up in the even something happens to us. We are choosing people we feel are good strong Catholics and would pray for our child. If something happens to us my parents would probably take all our children at this point because my parents are Catholic (his are not) and that is VERY important to us. Also all my bros and sis are not at a point in their lives where they could take care of children, but that could change. I also do not believe that the law would recognize godparents as having a legal right to the children, I think whatever is in your will would take priority and then maybe blood relatives...not certain though!
13yearsapart - Friday, 19 Dec
I totally agree with i-am-finally-preggo!
This is YOUR decision and yours alone! You are that baby's mother and you need to do what YOU feel is right, not what your bff or mother or the baby's daddy wants.
Follow your gut instints and you'll figure it out! Good luck hun!
peanpod - Friday, 19 Dec
It is crazy that you are going through the same thing. My mom was pissed when I told her that we were going to pick Godparents. She told me that the parents should be the godparents and that if something happens to Jeff and I that they would not get the baby. She said that with an atittude. Grandparents are to be just that, grandparents. But the one thing that she needs to realize is that, this is my child and I can designate who I want to take care of my kid if something happens. The godparents should be able to give the life that you would have provided to your child. My mother is not active in anything and get frustrated if she has to drive all over the place. Its a tough issue but you make whatever decision you want to make because it is your child. You can have your friend provide spiritual guidance and your family to actually take care of the child if something happens. I don't listen to my mom sometimes when it comes to raising a child because we have different views on it.
katelyns mom - Friday, 19 Dec
Godparents, the way I always understood it, are supposed to be provide spiritual guidance to your child. You can designate anyone you want to raise your child in case something were to happen to you or the baby's father by being responsible and putting it in a will. Usually any court would look to the next of kin to be guardians if you choose not to have a will. So go ahead and let your best friend be your childs God parent if you wish, just be sure to discuss with her what you want her role to be in your child's life.
mLoBaby09 - Friday, 19 Dec
Yes, you can do whatever you want. Your BFF can be Godparent - and they will be more of like a "spiritual guardian" and then you can have one of your siblings be the legal guardian and raise your child, God forbid anything happens to you or the father. I just polled some of my co-workers and they said that is very common. So go ahead and have the best of both worlds. :)
i-am-finally-preggo - Friday, 19 Dec
you can have more than one godparent.
not to mention sometimes, friends are closer and more loyal than relatives.
also, the decision is yours, not your mom's.
finally, your bff may have a lot going on right now, but that doesn't mean that years from now, she won't have it together, such that she could take on your child if (God forbid) something were to happen to you or Dorione?
so yeah, you can have your bff and your sister be the godmothers, and then specify either verbally to all or in a will that in the event that something were to happen to you or the baby's father, that she go first to your sister and if not, then to your bff.
| 19-12-2008 - Godparents |  My mood while writing this blog:Confused |
Since before I found out I was pregnant I knew my bff would be my baby's godmother. She had a baby earlier this year, and I'm her son's godmother. My mom brought to my attention though that the godparent is responsible for taking care of the baby in the event of the mother and father's death, so she doesn't want my bff to be the godmother. My mom told me to make all of her kids (3 out of 6 of my siblings) the godparents, so one of them would raise the baby if I die.
So, my question is, can my bff be the godmother, but not be responsible for my baby if I die? At this point in her life I wouldn't leave my child with her to raise, but of all 6 of my siblings, only 1 would I trust to raise Kaydence. It's nothing against my bff, but she's raising her own baby, while going through college, and still lives at home with her parents, so I don't want to add another child to that. Couldn't someone be a godparent, but I put in my will that someone else is responsible for my child if me and Dorione die??
16 Comments on Godparents
mama25 - Monday, 22 Dec
HEY GURL, WELL LISTEN FOR MY SON, HE HAS 1 GODMOTHER AND THATS MY MOM'S BFF. SHE ALSO OVERSEES ALL OF THE LEGAL PAPERWORK FOR ME AND MY BROTHER AND SISTER IF SOMETHING SHALL HAPPEN TO MY MOM. AS FAR AS HIS GODFATHER (R.I.P). HE IS NO LONGER HERE BUT HE WAS JUST LABELED THE GODFATHER BECAUSE HIM AND I WERE BFF AND HE WANTED TO TAKE MY SON PLACES WITH HIM.
I LOOK AT THE YOUNGER GODPARENTS AS JUST DOING THE THINGS THAT YOU MIGHT NO BE ABLE TO DO WITH THE KIDS(I.E. TAKE THEM TO FUN PLACES AND JUST SPEND TIME WITH THEM).
TO MAKE THIS SHORT, I THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE YOUR BFF BE A GODMOTHER JUST SO SHE WUDNT FEEL LEFT OUT AND JUST HAVE HER THERE TO TAKE YOUR DAUGHTER FOR OUTTINGS AND THEN HAVE A MORE RESPONSIBLE PERSON AS HER LEGAL GODMOTHER TO CARE FOR HER IF SUMTHING HAPPENS.
INSTEAD OF MAKING MY BFF MY KIDS GODMOTHER I JUST HAVE THEM SEE HER AS THEIR AUNTIE (TEE-TEE). YOU CAN DO IT THAT WAY WITH YOUR BFF TOO.
phoebejane - Monday, 22 Dec
Godparents are only part of the catholic religion and have no legal guardianship powers whatsoever. The "idea" in the eyes of the church is that the god parents would look after the baby if anything was to happen to you but nobody actually takes this seriously. Not even the priests :) You can be guaranteed your bff does not expect you to raise her baby should anything happen to her.
pregnant mommy - Saturday, 20 Dec
i am not catholic, and i'm really i'm not really religious at all, but my daughter has godparents. we didn't pick them to be her godparents so that in the event that something happened to us she would go to them. we picked them simply because they are our two closest friends in the whole world and we have absolutely no relation to them but we wanted a way to make them feel like they were accepted as family to us. we just wanted them to feel special and know that we love them and we want them to be a part of our child's life. thats all! i feel that it's your child and your life and you should feel free to do as you please about topics like this.
aloha.ma - Friday, 19 Dec
I just had a legal class and this subject was brought up. Really it has to do with a will. If you have no one stated on your will to care for your child, the court will automaticall look at both sides of grandparents (whom is most able to care for the child) , then your siblings. Really the God parent "thing" legally would have to be in your will. You can "say" your bff is your baby's god parent but in a will state that baby will go with .......If that makes sense. Also from experience my SIL had asked if I would be her 2 babies godmom because she was getting her will done. I, to make a long story short, said no only because I already had 1 and was trying on #2 and my hubby is overseas so it would be too much for me. So she wrote in her will they would go to her hubby's parents. So just know the court will look at blood first and capability of care. UNLESS you state different in your will. Hope this helps.
devonp - Friday, 19 Dec
We are catholic and god parents are to make sure the child is going to church and following god and such but they do not have to be the ones who care for the child if you die some do and some do not our sons god parents happen to be the people we would want to take care of him but not because they are his god parents but because they are great parents to their kids. Also being catholic godparents have to be in good standings with the church but I know so people just say that this or that person is the god parent and thats fine but if its not done in church then really they are not god parents. Its like my best friend has her son call me aunt and I am not her sister so I am not his aunt I will not do that to my son his aunts and uncles are going to be really aunts or uncles and god parents are done in church but to each their own I grew up with "fake" aunts and uncles and "godparent"
QUiNCY.KiERRE MOMMY - Friday, 19 Dec
Your mom is right about the responsbility thing, if you were to die the godparent will take care of the child ONLY if there is no immediate family around, such as (your parents, siblings,counsins,etc.) Therefore she can be the godparent of Kaydence without having to take on that responsibility.
happyinvention - Friday, 19 Dec
just have a seperate legal document stating who should get custody of the baby should you and dorione pass- that way your friend can still be the godmother.
i plan on being immortal- so i don't have to worry about these things ;)
katimae - Friday, 19 Dec
i'm having the same issues, I would go ahead and call her the goddmother just to keep the peace, but when it comes down to it, let your sibling or whoever you want to take care of her know that in the event of your death, you want them to have kaydence. My mother for some reason thinks that when I die, she will automatically get my kids, and sadly I don't want her to have them! I hate the way she's raising my brother and my grandparents raised me, so my bff will get ryder and kelly. She wants them, I've already spoken to her about it and I plan to make my wishes clear in some sort of legal document so noone can argue after im dead. Good luck, you can't try not to hurt feelings, just do what's best for kaydence.
sheisaqueen - Friday, 19 Dec
I totaly understand! I think you should be very careful who you choose. It sounds like your best friend has alot going on herself so I can understand. But do you think she would raise your child how you want her to be raised. Just becasue she is your friend doesn't mean she has the same values as you.
When allowing your family to be the God parents of your child that means the entire family may feel like they have a part in it. You should sit down with your sibling and be very clear as to what you want for Kaydence and what you do not want. I mean get down to the nitty gritty.
One of my best friends thought that she would be the god parent of Zechorien and even though I love her, she would not be my choice for that. You have to step back and look at the whole picture. But Im sure that you will make the best decision that you can. Pray about it and allow God to lead your decision. It's funny I have become more comfortable with talking about death now that I have a son growing in me. I guess it's because Im understanding the true meaning, value, and love of life.
KarenBG - Friday, 19 Dec
I think you could make her the godparent, and be sure to draw up a will that designates who would care for the baby in the event of a death (scary as that is to think about).
catesmommy - Friday, 19 Dec
We have had similar issues. For us a Godparent is very important. I think the origin of God parents is that in the event that something happens to the parents the God parents would look out for the spiritual upbringing of the child and even take care of them if necessary. However, we do not all live in villages and as I hope to have a number of children certainly do not expect for them to be all split up in the even something happens to us. We are choosing people we feel are good strong Catholics and would pray for our child. If something happens to us my parents would probably take all our children at this point because my parents are Catholic (his are not) and that is VERY important to us. Also all my bros and sis are not at a point in their lives where they could take care of children, but that could change. I also do not believe that the law would recognize godparents as having a legal right to the children, I think whatever is in your will would take priority and then maybe blood relatives...not certain though!
13yearsapart - Friday, 19 Dec
I totally agree with i-am-finally-preggo!
This is YOUR decision and yours alone! You are that baby's mother and you need to do what YOU feel is right, not what your bff or mother or the baby's daddy wants.
Follow your gut instints and you'll figure it out! Good luck hun!
peanpod - Friday, 19 Dec
It is crazy that you are going through the same thing. My mom was pissed when I told her that we were going to pick Godparents. She told me that the parents should be the godparents and that if something happens to Jeff and I that they would not get the baby. She said that with an atittude. Grandparents are to be just that, grandparents. But the one thing that she needs to realize is that, this is my child and I can designate who I want to take care of my kid if something happens. The godparents should be able to give the life that you would have provided to your child. My mother is not active in anything and get frustrated if she has to drive all over the place. Its a tough issue but you make whatever decision you want to make because it is your child. You can have your friend provide spiritual guidance and your family to actually take care of the child if something happens. I don't listen to my mom sometimes when it comes to raising a child because we have different views on it.
katelyns mom - Friday, 19 Dec
Godparents, the way I always understood it, are supposed to be provide spiritual guidance to your child. You can designate anyone you want to raise your child in case something were to happen to you or the baby's father by being responsible and putting it in a will. Usually any court would look to the next of kin to be guardians if you choose not to have a will. So go ahead and let your best friend be your childs God parent if you wish, just be sure to discuss with her what you want her role to be in your child's life.
mLoBaby09 - Friday, 19 Dec
Yes, you can do whatever you want. Your BFF can be Godparent - and they will be more of like a "spiritual guardian" and then you can have one of your siblings be the legal guardian and raise your child, God forbid anything happens to you or the father. I just polled some of my co-workers and they said that is very common. So go ahead and have the best of both worlds. :)
i-am-finally-preggo - Friday, 19 Dec
you can have more than one godparent.
not to mention sometimes, friends are closer and more loyal than relatives.
also, the decision is yours, not your mom's.
finally, your bff may have a lot going on right now, but that doesn't mean that years from now, she won't have it together, such that she could take on your child if (God forbid) something were to happen to you or Dorione?
so yeah, you can have your bff and your sister be the godmothers, and then specify either verbally to all or in a will that in the event that something were to happen to you or the baby's father, that she go first to your sister and if not, then to your bff.
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12-12-2008 - Another random survey
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