lisadpa's I-am-pregnantblog

lisadpa
	Age: 42 Country: US Province/region: - City: - Partner: Rob Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: SAHM & season tax professional
	Online: 2 days ago. Last updated: 3 days ago. Member since: 390 days
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30-7-2008 - Life with two kids

My mood while writing this blog:
tired

I am up for the day at 4 AM, it's the only way I can get some quiet peace while drinking my beloved coffee before the day begins. It is so hard with two. I am very grateful to have two, beautiful, healthy girls--this was my dream all my life. I waited a long time for it to happen. But it is very hard nonetheless...there is very little in this life that is just mine, done for me and not for one of the kids. This is temporary, and they are worth it. That doesn't change the fact that it's hard.

So I am grateful if I get a shower every day, and I have done that just about every day. If I can sit down and eat dinner (rather than having to stand rocking the baby in the sling while eating), that's a good day. A day I don't yell at my four year old in frustration is a good day. It's been hardest on her, all of this.

I am very frustrated about my weight. I lost half of the baby weight, and I'm pretty much stalled with 20lbs to go. Some days are good and I'm on track, but some days I eat out of frustration and that neutralizes the weight loss. Yesterday Julia's naps sucked and she was so overtired, one time it took me two hours to get her down. Two hours of ear-piercing crying in my face. I ate over that, then felt like crap.

This too shall pass.

My husband travels once a month on business. He left today (probably it's what woke me up) and won't be back for three full days. That's three days and nights of caring for the two kids on my own with no help or breaks. The worst is the witching hour, 5:30-7ish...Julia's fuss time and Emily's pre-bedtime routine and bedtime routine. It's so stressful and Emily suffers...how can I read a story with a screaming baby? Somehow I get it all done.

I pray for calm...I wish I was calmer by nature. Staying calm takes a lot of work, it is not easy for me. When things get really stressful, I just want to scream. But I can't...I have to put them first and be a good example.

Now it's 4:50 AM, and I have just enough time to watch my DVR'd "General Hospital Night Shift" and have some breakfast before the baby gets up. Thank god for guilty pleasures...

If it sounds like I'm not happy, that's not true. I am happy. But this life is hard...right now. Things will get better and better, I know.

3 Comments on Life with two kids

-newnaam - Saturday, 2 Aug
I can relate to this blog!! As much as I am happy, it all creeps up and I want to scream!! My son Is soo out of his bed schedule. He used to sleep at 9 now he doesn' t sleep till 11ish pm. he's only 15 months old so i'm sure he'll get back in his routine soon. It's so hard with two little kids. I have to feed my daughter and her fussy time is usually from 5-9ish. Where all she wants is held and fed. and I'm breastfeeding so there's not much I can do about it. I agree that this is just temporary and things will get better down the road. I have only lost 20lbs and still have another 20 to go. With my son I lost it all but 10 lbs by the time he was about 4 months old but I feel so fat!! lol I'm about 158lbs right now. It sucks!! Owell

Talk to you soon!

-newnaam - Wednesday, 30 Jul
Thanks for sharing. I can totally identify. I also go through phases where I am frustrated when my little girl cries. Then we figure out what is going on and assuage the problem and it passes. But, for that crying moment it does seem like eternity.

I am also working on loosing the weight from my pregnancy. I actually gained a lot more that I wanted to, but the midwife still said that I was in my healthy limits. I have lost 16 pounds so far, on the low carb diet. It is a revised Atkins. I am not a pork or red meat eater, so I revised the diet to turkey, chicken, and fish. The protein has made it easier to keep the cravings at bay. Then hopefully if all goes well, I will work back in all of the fresh fruits and veges that I love so much.

number5forme - Wednesday, 30 Jul
Your girls are just beautiful and yes when they are that little they are a lot of work, especially with little or no help. Sleep, sleep , sleep, WHENEVER you can as it will better equip you to cope. Believe me, I know from experience. Counting is also a great way to get past the "I wanna scream" stage. You obviously dont need any help with knowing what's best for your girls - you KNOW best!
I hope you dont think that 'reality' for motherhood is anything like you see on the soaps??!!! They suck so many of us in, making us think that somehow we are not up to standard because our hair isnt done or floors not vaccuumed or our children's faces aren't clean?!!! That is NOT reality, reality IS our hair not done, our floors not etc etc I think we are super women just for giving birth let alone getting the house clean!!!! Take a breath and start again - look into those beautiful blue eyed baby girls' faces and let it soak in - they are YOUR gorgeous girls!!!
Cheer up!

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