March 25th, 2010
Today I have been soooo sore, been contracting since supper time yesterday. The girl in the room next to me has something so contagious the nurses wear masks in her room :| Waiting for Jill (Dr. Coolen) to make her rounds so I can tell her about the contractions since my nurse just told me to take Tylenol and they would stop :| She was LOOPY. Ultrasound at some point and hopefully the TENS machine! Made it through last night without meds.
Was on the TENS machine twice this morning, worked the first time not the second. Was put on the machine, contractions are every 4 minutes now.
Had an ultrasound, her heart looked stable, but had an immediate amnio drainage. They drained over 2 liters of fluid from me. However during the amnio I started having hard painful contractions. I just cried and tried to stay still. I was rushed back to my room where I received my indicid, and just cried in pain from contraction on top of contraction until I finally passed out from the pain. I woke up and noticed I was bleeding. I soaked a maternity pad in under 20 minutes. The monitors showed huge contractions, babies heart looked fine. She tried to take me to labor and delivery and I told her I wasn't going and so she let me stay and didn't come back to my room. It has since been shift change and the new nurse hasn't come in yet. She may be afraid of me. Contractions have slowed, but still painful. I feel like a psycho but nobody listens to me here! I told her I hate taking drugs and she kept saying I want to make you comfortable, I said I don't need to be comfortable, I just need these to stop! The contractions had slowed though. I continued on indicid and was taken to labor and delivery. The nurse in my room and the nurse on labor and delivery both tried to start an IV but I was already traumatized. I let her draw blood but that was it. When all was said and done I believe I was completely effaced head low and in position and 2cm dilated.

March 26th, 2010

I was discharged back to my own room where I was monitored throughout the day. I had passed some blood clots through the night, but through the day started passing old blood only. I hadn't been allowed anything to eat all night and hadn't eaten since Noon the day before. I was starving! I still wasn't allowed food until after my ultrasound.
I had the Ultrasound with Dr. VanDenHof and Shawna, and let a nursing student come as well. Her tumor looks much larger now, it looks like the size of her to me, but I am sure it's a bit smaller. They did extensive testing on her heart and he feels we can do another day. She wasn't moving much during the ultrasound and wasn't practicing her breathing as much as they would have liked to seen. Bleeding has slowed down as well. He is kind enough to come in on his day off tomorrow to scan me. I am sooo incredibly thankful as I just don't trust anyone else. Had my last dose of indicid, contractions still about every 5 minutes but they're no longer painful. Addisyn comes up in the morning with Sherry and Matt is coming back here tonight after work. Praying to make it to Monday when the hospital is actually fully running and I can count on... See More everyone important to be there!! Will be 29 weeks Monday as well. They keep calling her the little miracle! ♥
Sorry it took me so long to get back, I have been trying to get lots of rest to keep her in there. Her head is wayyy down now they can barely even scan it through my pubic bone, so taking it easy!

March 27th, 2010

Addisyn and Matthew's parents came to visit! It was soooo nice to see my girl and spend some time with her. I miss her so much, it breaks my heart to not always be with her but I know it's best for Evalee and she will forgive me when she has the best sister ever.
I had my ultrasound with Dr. VanDenHof, a fair bit of new news, a cystic part has grown in the tumor and takes up about a third of it now! He may even drain the fluid right before she is born to make for an easier delivery and less chance of rupturing a blood vessel on the way out, however I have an anterior placenta that makes it next to impossible to get to the tumor. He said if he hadn't drained my fluid the other day there was no way I would have made it 12 more hours without delivering the baby. Her ductus venosus actually looks better then it did yesterday which was a shock! He is still hoping for a few more days. My midwife is back on Monday, so I would be so happy to make it to there. Her head is sooo low though he said she really just wants out!
I ended up having a mental breakdown and Matt went and picked Addisyn up at our house where she was spending the night with his parents. I held her half the night and Matt held her the other. We are so blessed.

March 28th, 2010

Had a nice visit with Sherry, Claire and Addisyn again. Addisyn is just a parrot now talking up a storm. I had another ultrasound and was given another day. Things looked stable. So it looks like I am heading to 29 weeks.
When I got back from my ultrasound I went pee and it looked like I had just gushed blood. I freaked out and called the nurse.
She told me it was coming from my cervix even when I assured her it wasn't. She also came into my ultrasound without asking and sat in the guest chairs so Matt's mom, Addy or Claire couldn't sit which I thought was super rude. Anyways I kept calling her everytime I peed and she said the same thing, so finally I peed in a cup, called her again and she was like oh. Well call me next time it happens and ill send a sample off, I said no you can send that one off thanks. So she did, the preliminary part came back and there was blood in it as well as it being dark brown, they think either a bladder or kidney infection. I also tested for protein myself since she was useless and it was between 100 and 300mg. I have reallly nice nurses on tonight who started me on antibiotics.

March 29, 2010

So finally just had my ultrasound. We have another day, which I am thankful for, but at the same time I am so stressed and emotionally exhausted. It is so hard just watching her heart get weaker and there is nothing I can do. My fluid is high again and I am not sure I can handle another amnio. I'm exhausted. I am more than thankful she has this extra time in the womb, but it comes at a price, her heart is failing and if they can't cauterize the main vein or if the tumor ruptures during the cesarean she won't survive the surgery. He is attempting to weigh the risks and I am just going crazy watching her heart fail. He said last week if she was a few more weeks he wouldn't hesitate to deliver but now he is trying to get in days. My fluid volume is high again which increases her chances of rupturing her own tumor inside the amniotic sac and if that happens she will just pass away inside me and we won't know until the next scan. Not to mention if I go into labor on my own which is a huge risk, it is very possible I won't get into surgery in time and she will rupture her tumor on the way out and bleed out. Not to mention 90% of the on call obgyn's have never even heard of her condition which requires a certain procedure to remove her. I am just stressed. I am thankful, but I have a lot to worry about. I pray to god almost 24\7 that he will guide Dr. Vandenhof and make the right decisions and protect Evalee. There are a million other risk factors that come with her condition as well such as cord prolapse, maternal mirror syndrome etc.
My midwife called me tonight and she agrees with me as well. Hopefully he does soon too.
All of her organs aside from her heart seem to be working well! Which is great news. The tumor is completely up inside her pelvis though and we can see it definitely wraps around her bladder but we're not sure what else. We're praying during the resection they can remove the tumor while preserving the bladder otherwise she will have to have a.. Ugh I can't remember the name but they have to drain the pee through her belly. A colostomy bag is another of our worries. The longer we leave her, the more the tumor grows as well. It's just so hard to watch her tiny body go through all of this. I just want to hold her and protect her and take away her pain.

March 30th, 2010
I have lost 8lbs since last week. I'm guessing it was in fluid. Mom, Nan and Addisyn came up to visit :) I got called over for an ultrasound so mom came with me as she has never seen a scan of her newest grand daughter before. The scanner barely touched my belly when I yelled "Oh the fluid" and he pulled away and said I didn't even get a chance to see yet, I am going to have to hire you after you've given birth. haha Sure enough my fluid was high again :( It has doubled since yesterday.
I had a freak attack before the amnio, but eventually let them do it. We got almost another liter and a half, that's 6 liters total so far. Her heart didn't look great on the ultrasound right after the amnio so I was rushed for monitoring. Her heart rate kept dropping dramatically with the contractions. The indicid kicked in quickly and the contractions got a little less intense.

29 weeks 1 day! She finally turned her head so we could get a shot of her face. She is well in the birthing canal lol

Evalee at 30 weeks..looks like daddy!! Lol

Big girl. Her legs looked like they were broken. Stupid tumor.