02-6-2009 - 22 week update

My mood while writing this blog: good

Hey there! I can't believe I am already 22 weeks along! More than Halfway there! This is flying by. I can't believe I have felt this good the whole time, just can't believe how tired I still am all the time! I'm so happy that I can feel my little man all the time. He moves so much now. When I lay down at night, he'll kick around for like 10 minutes before I fall asleep, it's very relaxing just lying there feeling it. He wakes me up the same way. And his daddy finally felt him kick the other day. I def. look pregnant now too. I have kinda popped out in the past 2 weeks and most people can tell now. I have to wear maternity pants or my bella band with EVERYTHING but sweats now, and feel much more comfortable in my bigger shirts. I watched my friend's son, who is 6, today, and had so much fun. I know I am gonna love having a little boy.

I'm kinda upset about my bf and I, we had a big fight last night, and I know my hormones are out of control b/c I cry at everything now, and I can't control what I say, but he is driving me nuts with his going out. He goes out a few times a week and stays out until closing time with all of his alchoholic friends, and I just can't take it anymore. He never gets angry drunk or anything, he's just so annoying after he drinks. Plus he just got this job and really doesn't make thaat much there, and I'm working long hours and doing as much as I can to save money for this baby, since I know how much it's going to cost, and I'll have to get insurance for myself and the baby after he comes. I have rent, car ins, car payment, utilities, phone, and internet/cable bills to pay for myself, and I always make enough for it all plus some to save, but I guess I am just in awe at how he pays some of his bills and blows the rest going out. He says he has a savings account he's been putting money in for when the baby comes, but I don't know if I believe him about that or not. I do know I am going to have to be the one paying for most everything while he's finishing school and gets a job with his degree, and that's fine, I make enough for it, it's just really annoying how I have sacrificed SOO much for this baby, and I feel like he hasn't changed a bit. Don't get me wrong, I was out there at the bars and partying every night before I found out I was pregnant, but the minute I found out, I stopped partying and shopping for myself and blowing $$ on stuff I didn't need, so why can't he do the same, or at least cut back a lot??? I know if I have to, I can do this alone, but that is the absolute last thing I want for our son and myself. I really really do love him so much, and he's a great guy, I just want him to man up, take a little more responsibility, and show me that his priorities are straight. Drives me crazy.

Anyway... I am in the process of cleaning out my entire apartment and selling some stuff of my stuff I don't need on craigslist, and then I'm going to get all the baby's furniture. I'll probably get it right off of craigslist b/c I have been looking on there everyday, and have found quite a few of the cribs I want for good prices. I'm worried b/c I have a small one-bedroom apt by myself, and while we are trying to find a very cheap foreclosure home to fix up and move into together, time is going by fast, and I'm not sure if we will by the time little man comes. If we don't, my bf will be moving in and I guess we will all three be living in my apt at least until my lease is up in October. So today I moved my furniture around in the bedroom, and luckily it will be big enough to hold my furniture that is in there now, plus a crib, changing table, and small dresser. I just really wish I had an extra bedroom so I could decorate his room how I want to, but I guess I can wait until a few months after he comes if it comes down to it.

BTW, has anyone registered yet? If so, what are some of the things you put on your list? We went to BabiesRUs to register, and even with the booklet, felt a little overwhelmed. I have no clue what brands are best, or what we absolutely need. We have to go to Target and get registered there too, because I have my first baby shower on June 15. I know it's really early, but my mom lives across the country and is visiting, and wants to have one with all of her friends that live here for me while she is here. I'm excited, but I hate being the center of attention, so I can kind of wait for it to get here, lol. I will be having another one in Sep. that my stepmom, stepsisters, and aunts are throwing me, and I know that one will be even bigger, eeek. My little guy is going to be absolutely spoiled rotten at least, lol.

Well, if you are still reading, sorry for rambling on and on and on, just wanted to update. Hope anyone who reads this is having a wonderful day and God bless!!