luckywhite's I-am-pregnantblog

luckywhite
	Age: 26 Country: UK Province/region: - City: - Partner: the lovely scott Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: Architectural office manager
	Online: 5 days ago. Last updated: 437 days ago. Member since: 1355 days
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07-10-2008 - Consultant meeting 06.10.08

My mood while writing this blog:
bummed

to get a c section 19th/20th January.

need to come to terms with this now - i am going to be one ugly scarred saggy apron bellied mother.

the consultant said one more scar on your tummy doesnt mark how attractive you are as a woman - which if i was more confidant in myself as a person or my appearance or this was Oprah i would think 'yeah you are right sir hack me to bits it wont matter i am woman hear me roar' but we all know life is not like that so BOLLOCKS TO THAT i have enough damage on this wee body to content with - Ill never be smooth and tight again ( i lost the smooth years ago - no will need to say goodbye to the tight and im not ready for that)

15 weeks to get over it. it better not take 3-7 years cause im still struggling

* DISCLAIMER* i just want to add - i am not miserable by nature. 99% of the time im chipper than a crimbo elf. and even though ive been teary and bitter and stressed the last week or so - im still spending my days having a giggle and having fun with harry and scotty and my friends. its not interfering with me hour to hour or affecting my ability to function as a person, I just reflect on it when im in the car and my mind wanders or in the shower or it creeps in to my mind at the 'bio oil hour'. Im not making myself a martyr or victim to my fears and worries just putting them down in type to push them out my head and close the gate on the thoughts. hope that makes sense.

despite last week i had an AMAZING weekend i had a treasure hunt in the woods with all the kids and ended up drinking hot chocolate and eating crispie cakes round an open fire in a victorian laundry - was really special.

and sunday i had a ladies lunch (that i took harry to) and had a scream !!

monday i took my shell shocked arse to my friends house and we had a lovely day with baby josh hes four months and took my mind right off it with his laughing and playing - scotts just been amazing as well.

so its not all doom and gloom- it never is with me- Just a bloggified mind declutter of all things negative. xx

6 Comments on Consultant meeting 06.10.08

jojo - Tuesday, 7 Oct
I cant say it'll be fine or this has happened to me and its great because i have never had a c-section, so I dont really know what to say hun exept good luck. You made me laugh though - ugly scarred saggy apron bellied mother LOL I could join that club without even havin any surgery LOL How come they are gonna deliver baby early?? Maybe incase you go into labour yourself. Anyway take care x

kelim - Tuesday, 7 Oct
it will be ok hun, this will be my second section coming up, you can hardly see the scar now, lets hope you cant this time lol

hope your feeling better tho hun, take it easey~kel x

phillygirl2 - Tuesday, 7 Oct
I know you have been having a hard time lately, so glad to hear that you are out laughing and having fun though. I hope things work out for you

hetibelle - Tuesday, 7 Oct
hiya....

OK so why have you to get a section?...

Now for the stuff I'm sure you have heard a hundred times before so apologies in advance for what follows...(and you know I mean it in the best possible way..)...

I have been where you are, I have had the trauma of a nasty forceps delivery and nearly died afterwards...it's no laughing matter waking up from being unconcious to find out they had warmed up the defibrilator...
I have had the much easier but 1 million times more painful 'normal' delivery with gas only....followed by a nasty tear....and lengthy stitch-up job....again not very nice and recovery was long and painful....
And now I have had the 15 hour labour which did not progress enough and resulted in an emergency section...
we have nothing to prove...and what is more important?...a safe and healthy delivery!!...

I thought very long and very hard about my options for this delivery...I really struggled with it...I knew that there was no way in a million years I was letting anyone near me with forceps...it was in capital letters across my birth plan...but I also knew that I was having a boy and that statistically speaking he would be bigger than Xander (9, 5.5)....I was worried about the pain and thought that if I took an epidural then I would probably need forceps...I was soo confused, I didn't want a section for a few reasons, recovery, time in hospital, not being allowed to drive, scarring, and the feeling of failure....'giving in'...bizarre eh!!..

but when it came to the crunch and his position, long labour, failure to dilate enough, my bp getting too high, etc and they took me in...I was not bothered...
the theater was calm, the radio was playing, the docs were chilled out, it was lovely...the op was easy and quick...
the next day I felt like I might not be able to stand up straight again but there was no pain....
the day after that I was up and showered and dressed by myself...
I felt great....I would do it all again no problem...
my doc okayed me to drive at 3 weeks and my scar is totally in my pubes and really very impressive...my lady bits are intact and I can pee/poo no problems....actually I dread to think how bad my lady bits would have got if I'd had to push the blighter out....
he is on my tummy just now smiling at me....he has the most perfect shaped head you ever saw and he was not battered to bits when he came out....he is easily the calmest and most content baby out of my lot.....he arrived out the sunroof...not too fast and not too slow...he just was born in relaxed calm surroundings to a relaxed and calm mummy...foo fighters were playing when he was born....sooo cool!!

Heather at least it sounds like the decision has been taken out of your hands....so no more confusion and wondering what to do...it's a done deal, you just need to get your head round it...I understand how you feel about a section, and if they'd told me I needed one while I was half way through a pregnancy I would have been very anxious....but now with hindsight I wish I'd known how easy it would be because I would have relaxed totally and enjoyed the rest of my pregnancy....honestly...I wish all 3 had been born like that!!
but I think you have to experience the nightmare to really appreciate the dream.....

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

taniar82 - Tuesday, 7 Oct
hey babe looks like were 2 peas in a pod at the moment. Ive got my consultant appointment next week to discuss my birth. Damn periniums who needs them anyway (me!) Glad your feeling better. I feel like shit im in slow unprogrssive labour. So im getting the contractions they are just not doing anything.

Baby has had his steriods so i keep shouting at him "you can come out now"

Im sorry you havent got the result you wanted but at least now you can prepare yourself x

sickamoaning - Tuesday, 7 Oct
I'm really sorry your having such a hard time of things, wish I had something helpful to contribute and great advice to give. Just want to let you know I'm thinking about you (like that helps!) xx

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