12-11-2009 - so so upset =[

My mood while writing this blog: depressed

at least i have a blog to vent my feelings, i am so so upset at the moment. my husband told me my landlord is going to put an air conditioner in. hes got it at home but hes just makin time to put it in. i go fair enough, how ever already a month has passed and it is soo hot here in sydney and id remind my husband every day have u called have u called him??

any ways yesterday it was like 38 degrees celcius here in sydney and it was so hot im pregnant and have a toddler and he wouldnt eat at all all day from the heat. so i call up the landlord my self im sick of relyin on my husband he dusnt do shit. i go hello, how are u i dont mean to be rude but im just wondering when wil u put the air con in?

his mood suddenly changed and said excuse me? i never said i was getting you an air con? i told your husband i dont have to get you an air con and ill do it when I can find a real good one that i know no one will ruin if i put it in. I started crying on the phone saying i am pregnant and i have a lil boy whos always hot and hes screaming coz hes so hot hes like well theres nothin i can do about it.

I couldnt stop cryin ive been depressed lately and this just made the tears flow and not stop. Anyways my husband comes home and says to me why are u upset, i go to him did you cal the landlord for the aircon he goes no ill cal lhim tomoro. i go to him dont bother ive already called him U TOLD ME HE SAID HE HAS IT AT HOME AND HES GOING TO PUT IT IN BUT HE HAS NOTHING HE SAID ITS NOT HIS RESPONSIBILTY.

then all of a sudden my husband starts going off at me, saying dont worry your not gonna last with me for very long, all you do is give me hell, and i swear i havent done anything other than call the landlord. my husbnad had wasted over 150,000 on frekkin gambling and hes in massive debt and when i found out he was gambling i forced him to stop or else im leaving with the kids and he stopped but he thinks i frekkin trap him at home now and i dotn let him have a life =[ how the F**** CAN U SPEND MY MONEY ON GAMBLING WHEN U WOULDNT EVEN LET ME SPEND MONEY ON MY SONS NAPPIES. he drives me insane soemtimes i hate him so much at the moment like i love him but if hes gonna act like that at he can hit the road i am so over his f**** tantrums

u know wat he sed to me as well?? oh what u cant trust me coz all i do is lie ?? i go YOUR THE ONE WHO JUST SAID I DIDDNT SAY ANYTHIN. how can he continue to lie to me?? and he says why are u so depressed all the time all he does if lie lie lie lie omgg im babbling now but no one understands how upset i am. Twice when i was pregnant ive tried to kill my self coz of him but wats stops me is the unborn baby in my tummy and my son, who i love with all my love and soul and couldnt bear to live with out him. i am so so so depressed =[