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30-4-2008 - Tired of Waiting

My mood while writing this blog: impatient

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Ok so I hate wrinting updates but oh well. Two weeks ago I started having contractions and went to the hospital only to have my doctor administer terbutaline to stop contractions. When that didn't work I received morphine injection and magnesium then steroids were administered since we believed I was only 34 weeks at the time and actively dilating and effacing.The next morning labor began again and more terbutaline was administered so I could get a second dose of steroids. The following evening contractions once again began and were stopped with magnesium and terbutaline so that I could receive antibiotics to offset the immune weakening steroids. We also had an ultrasound to measure amniotic fluid levels. It was during this ultrasound that we discovered Katie is almost 2 weeks farther along than first believed. The doctor then looks at me and says Oh I guess we could have let you go. She then tells me that if I go into labor again I will be able to deliver. Surprise surprise...I haven't had a contraction since! Still dilated 1.5 cm and 70%effaced. Go figure. I am so tired of being pregnant.

Katie has dropped significantly lower than before. My whole groin area is sore like I just ran a marathon. The tops of my thighs are sore and it is uncomfortable just to stand up. I rode in the car today and I have to "man sit" as my daughter says. I can't even stand to put my knees together. Add to that that my girl stuff is swollen significantly from the pelvic floor pressure and ... yep I am miserable. I have an appointment tomorrow and I can only hope that this doctor has good news. Oh to be able to walk normally again would be wonderful. I can't help but waddle like I have been riding a bull for a couple of days. I am so impatient.

On to another note, I am trying to help my mother-in-law ssell her kittens for some extra money since I have been out of work since the hospital visit. It is going well enough I guess but I had just cleaned the poo out of my house before she visited and dropped off three kittens and now all of my efforts seem wasted. My guest bathroom (where I have been keeping her kittens) is TRASHED! My house overall is a wreck just from her visit with my husband (neither of them seem to realize how much work I put into keeping this house going). I guess my standards are a bit higher than they are accustomed to (not to be rude to them but I am emotional and everything aggrivates me now). I just need some help with all of this! Why is it so difficult to understand that I have energy in spurts. When I am tired, I am exhausted and when I am ready to do something you better catch up with me! Why is it difficult to grasp the fact that I could use some help making sure that this house is PERFECT for our new arrival to come home to. I mean it could reasonably be any minute and once I am at the hospital the house is in his hands. I can't trust him with that, it will never get done. Oh well. I guess I have to live with the situation and get over it.

The positive side of this is that my six year old has really stepped up to the plate. She has helped me scour the bathrooms (which now need to be done again), swept the entire house, helped plant bushes in the yard, and cleaned her room to MY standards (for once) witout being told to. Overall I wish her Dad could adopt her new outlook and energy level. It seems like the more I need him to do, the more he sleeps and whines. I get to whine not him. He has no clue what is going on with me and the more I try to tell him the less he processes the information that is given to him. I have to admit that he does take our daughter to school in the morning (that was my job), he picks her up (that was my job), and he gives a mean back rub. He really is a good man and a great husband but I just get so aggrivated so easily and I feel so pressured and acting against the clock is not helping. I just need to breathe I guess.

I know that all of this will pass. I know that I have made it to the home stretch. I know that sooner rather than later I will hold my baby girl in my arms and forget about all of this petty stuff. I just can't stand the waiting game.

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