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|02-10-2010 - who wouldve guessed?
||My mood while writing this blog:|
I was never the kind of girl who wanted what everyone else did. I never wanted children, I never wanted to marry, I never wanted a family, simply because, of the responsibility of caring for other people. So how is that when I shared the news of my pregnancy with my family NOONE was surprised? LOL I guess they just figured I'd always be the first of 4 kids to be the first one pregnant since it was something I never wanted. But here I am, 6 months pregnant, and I LOVE it! I mean sure, hubby and I have our occasional fights because of my mood swings and the thought of my little man coming into the world still, well, scares me, because even though I feel I'm ready, I'm still in disbelief and scared. But I could never imagine my life any other way. I love all the movements and the growing belly, it makes it so much more real. I cannot imagine the amount of joy he's going to bring into my life, along with sleepless nights, stress, and irritability, but hey, im ready for it all. Since I've become pregnant, just the thought of someone calling me "mama" makes my heart melt, and knowing the amount of love this little being will have for me makes me feel like this is what I was put on this Earth for, to care for my baby. and have a family. I've done so much growing up over the past few months it's ridiculous, and I've heard so many people tell me how mature I've become so fast. Just the little things I do differently like, no cell phone when I'm driving, and I drive the speed limit, and I dont use any foul language anymore. Also, people telling me I'm going to be a great mother. It's surreal because people always joked and said what a terrible mother I'd be because I would't know how to raise a baby. But my motherly instincts have kicked in, and reguardless of the fact that I have no plan as far as raising a baby, I'm sure it will make sense when he's finally here. Its funny how one tiny person, can change your entire perspective of life :)
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